Bipolar Support Group

Hi, everyone, I am new to this group and have been diagnosed as bipolar this past June. I have 2 other MH diagnoses, as well, and find it hard to deal with feeling "NORMAL" then shortly thereafter being so symptomatic, adding several nights of very little sleep recently, and paying dearly for it in the morning. Sometimes I wish I could just erase the past traumas I have endoured and possibly be able to survive without meds. I have a "friend" who has the same diagnosis of bipolar disorder and I thought we had become close in the last 10 months, but his lack of showing emotion or his "inability to feel" has brought me to tears, literally, and he won't even admit verbally to caring about me! Otherwise, he is an intelligent, deep, educated, sharing (about his own situation, this is the part i don't get, he opens up on an emotional level about himself but not about himself and I) I finally told him in an email that I can't go on like this because I need to protect my own Mental HEALTH, yet I just can't tear myself away totally because I revert back to the comfort we found in each other not too long ago. I suspect he may have a personality disorder and I see this as yet another self-destructive pattern on my part. I am an intelligent woman raising kids on my own and being supportive of a man who makes me want to write him off for good, then contacts me pretty much when I've all but told him to go to Hell and here, I'm hooked again. I hope I am not sounding like a fool or a total idiot, but I am struggling mentally and trying to keep it together enough to start work soon and make it through minor surgery without falling apart. Anyone relate to any of this? I am to the point that I cant sleep at night and get teary during the day.

hello there. sorry to hear that ur having such a bad time. the more u talk to people on here, the more u will know that we all care about u. im going to be awake for a while, so u and i can talk if u want

hello there freind. what would u like to talk about

I can relate to the 'to be friends or not to be friends' question. It's hard to decide if some people are worth the effort or if they are going to unintentionally hurt our seemingly fragile psyches. As far as your friend's inability to feel - well, I don't know him, but I know that at times in my life people have made comments about how they perceived me and it was completely different from what I actually experienced. There have been times that I was simply unable to express feelings either because of fear or I just didn't know what I was feeling. Also, there probably were times that I was too self-centered, in a sense, to let the outside world in. To me, 10 months isn't that long because I have trust issues. Talking about experiences of the past are completely different than talking about relationships now.

But that's just me ... I can't really say anything for sure, but you aren't alone.

Maybe he doesn't know how to react. Would he be willing to read a book on it and/or go with you to your pdoc appts. It's just a suggestion.

It sounds like you are trying to hold on to something that's slowly going away, for whatever reason. If it's making you sick than you shouldn't be with him. You are going to feel sad because you've grown to care about this friend and it's hard to let him go.

I was single for awhile, working and raising my little boys. I dated quite a bit and went through alot of guys. I got hurt alot. I was looking for a Daddy for my boys and a husband for me, I didn't really like being single. Anyway they didn't want a relationship unless it came with no strings attached. I did have a couple of close relationships but they didn't work out, for whatever reason. It's so hard to be single with kids and have no one.

You are not alone. If you need to talk just pm me.