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04/11/2009 07:44 PM

Bipolar is the Devil!!!

jmitchell151
jmitchell151Posts: 30
Member

Devil I'm joining this forum because I am currently going through a terrible bipolar mania episode. I've been married to my wife, who is bipolar, for 12 years now. About 6 weeks ago she ran off with a mutual friend, left me and our 3 kids to be with her "dream" man. Of course at the time it was because she had never been happy in our 12 years of marriage, I was a terrible person, etc., etc., etc. She came back after less than a week begging for forgiveness which I eventually gave. Then earlier this week, she went out one night and had sex with an old friend of ours. I don't know if I can handle any more of this. It is hard enough to hear the awful things that she says, but for her to actually do something like this is just absolutely overwhelming. The only good news in all of this is that her therapist told her that she was manic and needed to go to the hospital. She has always been very compliant with her meds, and she also agreed readily to commit herself. I took my boys to visit her today for the first time this week and could barely stand to look at her.

I welcome you advice and your suggestions - I feel like however things work out this is just a lose lose situation.

Jason

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04/11/2009 07:55 PM
grafxbydiane
grafxbydiane  
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

jmitchell151, Welcome to the group at least she has agrred to get some help when she went to the hopsital . I hope things will work out with you guys in the end . I hope that are your getting some help for yourself.There really has to be some bounadires when you comes to her behavior of cheating . she needs to accept responibility for that

Post edited by: grafxbydiane, at: 04/11/2009 19:57

Post edited by: grafxbydiane, at: 04/11/2009 19:57


04/11/2009 07:58 PM
jmitchell151
jmitchell151Posts: 30
Member

I wish I knew how to get help for myself...I've tried a couple of therapists but haven't found one that has given me anything "real" to work with. Any suggestions on what to do for help?

04/11/2009 08:00 PM
grafxbydiane
grafxbydiane  
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

Well joining here was a good thing we are here for you as well but i mean one on one counseling for you . I would start with your local mental health department . Ask to see someone that is familar with bipolar . perhaps they can help you there. have you been to counseling with her ? as part of her therapy

Post edited by: grafxbydiane, at: 04/11/2009 20:01


04/11/2009 08:10 PM
jmitchell151
jmitchell151Posts: 30
Member

We have been going to marriage counseling (only 2 sessions). The therapist is not really focused on dealing with bipolar though. She just started to see a therapist individually in addition to her psychiatrist (who likes to talk a lot...) Do you think it would be good for me to go on her therapist appointments too? I guess I thought she needs someone to talk to alone so she can fully express herself, but maybe we could also see her therapist together for a seperate appointment.

04/11/2009 08:15 PM
bejeweled
bejeweled  
Posts: 1374
Senior Member

When emotions are raw I find it's better not to make any major decsions. I know, easier said then done. I found out that my gf of 7 years cheated on me two years ago. The next three months were pure Hell. There was a huge struggle between understand the illness and hating what she did. Trying to wrap my mind around everything, feeling like my world fell apart. Being really, really angry and unsure what to do next. Eventually, because she was seeking treatment, I came to terms the best I could and got behind her. I decided that she as a good person with a serious mental illness. She was more miserable then I could ever understand. The immense pain that you are in won't last forever. It just feels like it will.

04/11/2009 08:16 PM
grafxbydiane
grafxbydiane  
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

yeah that would be good to go with her to her appts but I was thinking for you indivually to help you .

04/11/2009 08:24 PM
norma
normaPosts: 10109
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Definitely get help for yourself, Jmitchell. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing here. Unless you are well grounded you are going to find it difficult to cope with all that is going on in your marriage.

04/11/2009 08:33 PM
jmitchell151
jmitchell151Posts: 30
Member

Thanks for the encouragement bejeweled. Makes it easier to know others have been through the same thing. I am angrier than I've ever been in my life. Even though it has been just a few days since the last "incident", I do already feel the anger subsiding somewhat. I just can't imagine right now that it will actually ever go away...

04/11/2009 08:34 PM
jmitchell151
jmitchell151Posts: 30
Member

Good advice norma - thanks!
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