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02/12/2008 11:55 AM

Not on meds

lehdeluv
lehdeluv  
Posts: 11
Member

I am currently not taking meds. I recently started at a new doctors clinic and when I went in for new appt they assigned me to a nurse practitioner instead of the doc I called for. Of course once again, new doctor new perscription. Every time i see someone new they change my meds because what they think will work for me is not what previous doctor prescribed. Last time she gave me zoloft and it made my anxiety worse, palpatations were unreal and I couldn't stop moving. She wouldn't give me my zanax and said zoloft would take care of everything, I don't need anything else. So, here I am, off meds, not wanting to go back there and dreading hunting for a dr who understands my condition and isn't gonna have a one cure fixes all mentality. It took a lot for me to finally leave home and go to a new doctor and open my guts up to be disected again so I could start treatment again try to reclaim a life. Now I'm back where I have been for too long dealing with BP, ptsd, and other issues unmedicated and struggling daily with horrific anxiety symptoms on top of my all the other ones. So I spend my days in my house either in bed or on good days wrapped up on couch with comforter watching movies. Twice a week my husband makes me go to store with him so he can feel good that I am not locked up 24/7. Between my husband and my sons I am either always with someone or they call every hour to check on me or text me.I am very good at faking being ok, it's so much easier then trying to constantly explain things over and over and never really getting them to understand what I feel or experience.When I have an anxiety attack my husband always says well honey you have no reason to feel stressed, same thing if I am experiencing severe depression. As far as me being a recluse who does nothing around the house and only moves from bed to couch and no longer even prepares meals, they now accept that as being normal I think. I am sorry I think I rambled and lost focus. Lol, like no one here understands that!Thanks for listening.
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02/12/2008 12:27 PM
dawn1b
dawn1b  
Posts: 356
Member

Sounds like you need to find a good Pdoc and that you are just going to a general practitioner. I went to a GP for years and years until my employer told me to take a LOA and get help. Now I have a great Pdoc and am doing so much better.

Best wishes

Dawn


02/12/2008 04:35 PM
Gypsy
Gypsy  
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi Lehdeluv,

I am sorry you are having a hard time. I had a hard time with pdocs and meds 5yrs ago, when, I first got diagnosed. Antidepressants never worked for me, and this time, I have tried alot of the meds out there, and have had a hard time finding the right cocktail. I end up frustrated and depressed. This time, I can't give up. It's not fair for my family. I end up agoraphobic, and unable to function.

Anyway, I hope you don't give, and hopefully you will find the right doctor, soon. Keep reaching out. We are here for you.

God bless, Gypsy


02/12/2008 11:37 PM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Hi, Leh, do get yourself a new pdoc, enlist your husbands help if you need it, you don't have to change medications that work for you, and you don't have to accept a doctor that will not listen, there is a current train of thought among the doctors about using antidepressants alone on a bipolar not being a good thing, while we can take a antidepressant, having a mood stabilizer on board is important, I am personally on Lamictal, which always isn't for everyone, as there are some side effects to it, but for me it has been a wonder drug, got me off the four antidepressants that I was on, and has brought me out of the hole of depression I lived in..

02/13/2008 12:51 PM
lehdeluv
lehdeluv  
Posts: 11
Member

Thanks carmen, my husband is a sweet man, I mean he puts up with me and has for 11 years and is a great step dad but a man of action he is not. So this is up to me and I have to just bite the bullet and find a good pdoc on my own, I have yet to get a pdoc and stick with any care for any length of time. I didn't have insurance for a long time and when I did start therapy, I stopped after a few sessions because I couldn't deal with how raw the wounds were I had to deal with. So, I just perpetuated my situation of no care no medication. I kick myself for letting myself get worse and worse. But I promise you I will have an appt set up by friday, please hold me to that!

02/14/2008 08:43 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

I will hold you too that, and I will expect a appointment time and date out of you, will make myself a note to ask you about it..lol.. I tend to be a bulldog with somethings, won't let go for nothing.. We all put off doing things even if we know it is for our own good, I put off getting sober as I didn't think I had a problem, and until it brought me to my knees, I didn't do anything about it, I didn't do anything about my bipolar till I had met my present husband, I didn't believe that "dragonlady" my alter ego, belonged in healthy relationship. She came into being to help me survive childhood abuse traumas, and she had served her purpose, and needed to go, but I knew she would not without some help in the healing department.. she is still asleep and he has never had to really meet her till I attempted suicide back in July and was out of my mind because of a drug overdose..from what I understand I wasn't very nice, don't remember any of it.. get the treatment you need and deserve, you don't have to suffer.

02/14/2008 10:20 PM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

But I promise you I will have an appt set up by Friday, please hold me to that!

Popular posts by lehdeluv

Hey Leh, just sending you a reminder like I promised, tomorrow is Friday..lol, Hope you had a wonderful Valentines day..


04/09/2008 09:08 PM
qtpi
qtpi  
Posts: 508
Member

I decided to stop taking my meds, and I am trying so hard to be as normal as I can be. But it seems more like I live a pretend life just to keep everyone happy. I seem ok, I act ok but I dont feel ok, cause I am learning to be someone I am not. I don't know how to stop myself from doing not so good things, sometimes I get out of hand, it feels normal behavior to me. I am sure my doctor would say that is the result of not taking meds. I don't know how to live my life anymore, I hate my life, I quit my job that I used to love, I don't have feelings for anyone, it is so hard to understand, I am not capable to show emotions, I know that is not good. People thinks I dont care about anything, especially my husband I feel so trap sometimes I wish I was gone for good, all I care about is what new crazy thing is for me to do, so far my hidden side is all bad.

I don't know anymore if I am depressed, I don't notice when I am manic until is too late... I am glad I joined this group, cause nothing makes sense to me anymore.


04/09/2008 09:15 PM
Dreux
Dreux  
Posts: 370
Member

qtpi You should get in touch with your Pdoc and get back on your meds. Going "WHITE KNUCKLE" with how your feeling is dangerous. Were here for you.

Dreux


04/10/2008 02:10 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Qtpi, why did you get off your meds? If you want your life to be anything close to "normal" you need to take your medications, only go off them if a doctor says too and with their supervision, do you really in your heart want to leave your husband? if so, then do so, but get back on your medications. Call your doctor today and get back in there asap.
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