Hi. My name is TwoHearts. I came to this site because my doc recommended I look at support groups. I went without a diagnosis for so long that now I have one he thought it might help to talk to others going through the same thing.
My background: The bipolar symptoms became obvious when I was about 22. I stopped sleeping for weeks at a time, I became very aggressive and paranoid and I cut myself off people. My partner eventually forced me to get help after I attacked him with a knife (he wasn't hurt, thank God), which was out of character and pretty scary.
I went to my first psychiatrist for about 3.5 years. She was not good for me, but I was 22, scared that I was crazy and she was the expert so I did what she told me to do. She said I had depression and put me on antidepressants, which made sense. But then they didn't work so she put me on antipsychotics, mood stabilisers and sedatives, which didn't make sense. Plus I was still having mood swings. The worst thing was the side effects - sleep walking, insatiable appetite, gained 45kg in 6 months, major muscle weakness, bad tremors in my hands and lips, memory lapses, delayed processing time, falling asleep at random times without warning etc. I had to cut back my hours at work and my boss put me on restricted duties because I was a safety risk. My social life stopped because I was too tired to live it. But, I figured that this was as good as life could be for someone like me and lived with it.
Then 3 things happened that made me question that. Firstly, I became incontinent due to a 'rare' side effect of one of the drugs. I was so angry about that! Then my family and my co-workers basically staged separate interventions to get me to see another doctor. Third, I got married and realised later that I had no recollection of the wedding because I was so out of it (still don't remember it). So I got a second opinion.
My current doc is brilliant. He listens and responds really well. He's not all about drugs, which I like, and makes me feel like I have some say in my treatment. Plus, when I first started seeing him he explained what was happening to me, he gave me a diagnosis, changed all my meds and got me stable.
Sorry I blathered on for so long. Hope to talk to some of you soon.
