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05/12/2012 06:42 AM

Just signed up saying hello

Incomplete
Posts: 97
Member

Hi i am new to the whole forum experience so will tell you how i got here.

Diagnosised bipolar 1 mixed mania with psychotic features earlier this year, i am 31. Life has been complex to say the least Growing up i was asked "whats wrong?" with such frequency my school had child welfare investigate my parents. I was told "because i dont smile and 7year olds smile" at my first psychiatrict evaluation over 23years ago.

"Whats wrong?" is still a question i get asked alot along side "why so serious?" the impulsive reacting "whats your problem" and my favourite consistantly aggressive trigger "Calm down".

The marvel of modern psychiatry is a glorious thing to look at. Viewmasters were revolutionary aswell until they just werent ...

Because we would grow up and out of it, right. Right? I couldnt?

No one knew much but all had alot to say over the years i seeked help until it caused more problems than good or expense over benefit had nothing over smoking weed and drinking. I recieved reapeated mis-diagnosis of depression, genralized anxiety, social anxiety, ADHD, OCD and Aspergers.

I was involuntary hospitalized late last year by my parents, i spent 3 weeks in recovery and still attend partial day treatment. My pdoc believed i was schizophrenic and would have been diagnosisd except for medical records documented symptoms following pattern of bipolar mood cycles over 11years without the word bipolar appearing once. I am still in early days of meds i am told, currently taking 2100mg sodium valproate 60mg cymbalta 300mg seroquel a day with benzos for anxiety and sleep.

Thats more of me i expected to expose, will ask and tell more as time passes

Post edited by: Incomplete, at: 05/12/2012 06:47 AM

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05/12/2012 06:56 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hello and welcome to the group! I am so sorry you went so many years misdiagnosed when you could have been receiving proper treatment for bipolar and getting stable. But now that they know, you are on your way toward that very goal. I hope this med combination is the one that works for you and you feel better soon.

This is a very supportive group and I know you will quickly find that out as you spend time here. Feel free to post more and to PM (private message) me or any other group leader if you need or want to. We're here to help. I look forward to seeing you on the boards!


05/12/2012 07:03 AM
Incomplete
Posts: 97
Member

Thank you uppitywoman

05/12/2012 10:23 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16597
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

It's common for people to get the wrong diagnosis for years. I'm glad you got the right one finally and you can treat it. You are on the road to getting stable. Hopefully the medications agree with you. Sorry about your hospitalization, but you got help and that is what counts. You are dong the right things. I always get asked "What's wrong" also. I don't smile very much and am serious most of the time. Even as a child. I think as a child I had to grow up so fast and that was why I was so serious then, but it could have been the bipolar also. I'm glad you joined. You will learn lots of stuff about bipolar and will love the people here. Welcome to the group!

05/12/2012 10:45 AM
Incomplete
Posts: 97
Member

Thanks Joy75. The lack of emotion and facial expression i know is refered to as the blunted affect also called facial asymmetry caused by lateralization and over lateralization. I have always done alot of things left handed but i am right handed

05/17/2012 02:02 AM
battywitch
battywitch  
Posts: 173
Member

I'm glad that you found this group. I was diagnosed just over a year ago after many years of being treated for depression. Nobody seemed to realize that when I wasn't depressed I was actually manic. I am so glad that I finally found a doctor who didn't want to only treat me for the episode I was having and look further into things. She sent me for a psych evaluation and although my moods can still be up and down, the medication is definitely helping now and I find that I can function better.

There are times when I feel good and think that I don't need the medication any more but thankfully I have family around me who are able to talk me out of it.

Take care

Suzanne


05/18/2012 02:15 AM
Incomplete
Posts: 97
Member

Thank you Suzanne.

I too believed i was better not long after meds started working and i stopped taking my sodium valproate but kept taking cymbalta. I felt fine but when i saw my pdoc i wasnt able to tell him when i had last slept or eaten. Later i realised of my ebay filled nights and the $7000 of brilliant must have crap i bought.


05/18/2012 04:59 AM
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow  
Posts: 23930
VIP Member

Oh my goodness incomplete.

I can relate SO much to what you just said.

As a child those EXACT words were said to me.

You are NOT alone.

You actually made me feel better in that aspect as I have read and related to so many people but I can relate to your childhood the most.

I hope this is not offensive because it certainly is not intended to be.

The school system was terrible when handling the situation but it was a long time ago.

I am your age, 29 almost 30.

I hope and pray you feel better soon.

I still can't get over how similar our childhood was.

I was sent to the principal for not smiling and such!!!

Now I am a teacher and I SOMETIMES see these children and I take extra time with them because I don't want them to go through what WE did. I cannot CURE them but I can let them know I care and hope I make a difference.


05/18/2012 07:20 AM
Incomplete
Posts: 97
Member

Thank you so much for your words IDoNotKnow

Reading you traveled a parallel path in youth fills me with happiness and sorrow.

I too spent much time in principals office when not in trouble!!

No offence taken.

My school done what they did, wrong or right they were probably following protocall. The school had me evaluated, my parents ignored them when they said they believed something was wrong and became firmer on me. No longer was i to shift my desk away from everyone, i had to pay more attention, ask questions, intergrate socially with others and smile because no one would ask me whats wrong if i just smiled.

Its past tense for us. Your position is an advantage, not just for others. I admire your self recognition one day children you reached out to will also realise your assistance.

It is a pleasure to have come across your path.

Post edited by: Incomplete, at: 05/18/2012 07:22 AM

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