Bipolar/alcoholic/addict--peek inside

It is so poignant to me when a wife, husband, friend, or lover to someone with BP or BP/Addiction/alcoholism cannot quite see inside.

Some time ago I made a rather sophomoric attempt to tell a story--a story about one of the lowest points in my life, but I just couldn't tell on myself. So I invented a character to be me, and I stylized my experience.

We can each touch the other's wound, and we can compare it to our own wound and to pictures of wounds, to measure the size, to measure the bleeding, to see the healing; but we can't touch the other's pain can we?

There is no benchmark for pain, is there?

Perhaps those of you who are NOT afflicted would like to peek inside now. Don't expect Pulizer Prize material, or even good writing, but be prepared...

http://www.cerebral-storm.com/page8.html

Scroll down to "The Appointment."

If the contrast on the page bothers your eyes, just copy and paste the text into MS Wordpad or your word processor--for your reading only, PLEASE....

From me to you, in friendship,

Jim

I'm so glad you are not anywhere near that place any more - the feelings of true despair are so apparant that it really makes me feel so bad for Perry. It's as if I want to go to him and hold him in my arms and tell him not to worry, to have faith in himself, and to believe in his own worth as a human, job or no job - Thank you for sharing that - if this is a glimpse into the dual diagnosed personality I truly feel compassion for anyone having to deal with this self-defeating affliction.

Do whatever is necessary to keep yourself from that place - whatever it takes - do not go back there no matter what - You are way too special and important and have way to much to offer the world to belong in a place like that.

Your Friend,

Joyce.

Post edited by: jlh1956, at: 01/27/2008 18:11

It would be a shame if I ever, ever forget the past.

My recovering friends and I used to visit the alcoholic ward at the hospital on Sunday mornings. Men and women with wet-brains, permanent psychoses--emaciated, gray and distant--it was all a road map to my future--or rather the future I had chosen through my drinking, drugging, and unattended mental illness.

With my past to remind me and a glimpse of the future-that-could-have-been, I am very much motivated NOT to go back!

If I can keep moving forward, I know you all can do it too!

That's MY message, "and I'm stickin' to it!"

With respect to all,

Jim

Post edited by: JR1, at: 01/31/2008 15:26

I know you have come so far, and I know you will NOT ever go back - if you ever have a weak moment, and I pray that you don't just remember my prayer for you:

"May God hold you and cradle you in his loving arms through every single moment of every single day. All things are possible through our precious Lord and Savior. Amen."

We are all stronger than we know - we just have to believe that and not waver.

God Bless and Keep You,

Your Friend, Joyce.

Your bud,

Dawn