i have been married for 1 1/2 years and my wife and i are hot and cold. but when things are good they are great. just that we fight I feel because she has depression anxiety and BP. She has been diagnosed 1 year ago and got put on Paxil. she is 25 and she tried to committ suicide 2 days ago. now he is on 72 watch.

she tried this when she was about 15yo also.

since she got on paxil its been better, but she never got over her impulse ideas and decisions. we just got back from a 3 week vacation and it was magical. we went to her paents in Lima Peru and had a great time. when we returned she said she wanted to move to the midwest to be near my family. well she freaked because i didnt say yes right away. then 4 nights ago she went out for the whle night and came back the next day, then the next night ate 30 paxil and went to sleep. i didnt realize til the next day. she is ok now but i also just found a guys # in her phone from the night she went out with a girlfriend. i found evidence of her being with him that night.

now i am distraught because i have to go see her in 2 hours to visit and i just figured out that she was with a man 4 days ago. i have to ask her about it uring my visit.

i am devastated. we always said no matter what never cheat. never. and we always said no matter how bad it is we still wouldnt be with anyone else. we were actually pretty happy. just she couldnt discuss important things because she gets upset. and i feel like she isnt responsible with decisions, work or money. and she wants a baby. so thats our issues. i am sitting at our house just pacing and going nuts.

any suggestions would be cool. im at a loss. she is my baby. and i cant beleive she would do this to me. i dont have proof she had sex with him but she was running around behind my back b4 and after our great family vacation

beyond that they took her off paxil immediately and now they are switching her to prozac. i dont know if thats good. she is definetely someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, and they always said possibly bipolar also. how do they decide if someone is or isnt BP??

i am sticking by her side and going to tell myself to beleive her. she went to 2 group meetings today and also met with a physician and a counselor.

this is all new to me.

the docs said she was just lucky because she didnt throw up and she just slept the whole night and woke up sick 12 hours after taking 30 paxil.

I wasn't thrilled with myself, but I could understand why I did it, don't remember wanting to, don't remember trying, don't remember the police showing up here at the house, or admitting to them what I had done, got hauled off to the hospital in a ambulance where they stuffed me full of charcoal to induce expulsion of the stuff, I had taken 80 or so of them.. woke up about 3 days later in the local mental hospital, stayed there for a couple more days and then got to come home, I had been fired from my job, just the day before this all happened, so I gave myself some recovery time, took a month off.. ended up having to take more than that, as we lost our home over the job lost and other things, told the hubby that I would not go back to being the stressed out mess that I had been prior, either he would step up to the plate and help, or he would be changing addresses with out me.

I am hoping for your sake that the prozac helps, if you notice her having any bad spells, crying for no reason, getting furious over the smallest thing, then you need to talk with her doctor about a mood stabilizer, some of us have to take both the mood stabilizer and a antidepressant, just give her time and see how she does,

after that you can deal with the rest of the stuff, loving someone when you aren't sure they have been totally loyal can be hard, but it can be overcome.

Hey 311, I am glad she is opening up, the cocaine wasn't a good thing, by any means. Personally after the attempt I would be more likely to suspect bipolar rather than just depressed.

I wasn't thrilled with myself, but I could understand why I did it, don't remember wanting to, don't remember trying, don't remember the police showing up here at the house, or admitting to them what I had done, got hauled off to the hospital in a ambulance where they stuffed me full of charcoal to induce expulsion of the stuff, I had taken 80 or so of them.. woke up about 3 days later in the local mental hospital, stayed there for a couple more days and then got to come home, I had been fired from my job, just the day before this all happened, so I gave myself some recovery time, took a month off.. ended up having to take more than that, as we lost our home over the job lost and other things, told the hubby that I would not go back to being the stressed out mess that I had been prior, either he would step up to the plate and help, or he would be changing addresses with out me.

I am hoping for your sake that the prozac helps, if you notice her having any bad spells, crying for no reason, getting furious over the smallest thing, then you need to talk with her doctor about a mood stabilizer, some of us have to take both the mood stabilizer and a antidepressant, just give her time and see how she does,

after that you can deal with the rest of the stuff, loving someone when you aren't sure they have been totally loyal can be hard, but it can be overcome.

thank u sooo much. she was open and honest last night. i for some reason dont trust her completely. more so after i left to come home my mind would race more about if she is lying.

im sorry u had to go thru ur journey but at least u r still here and Living! thats the most important thing.

its going to be a rough journey. i am sad that my wife reverted to old behaviors of hers that she used to have over 2 years ago. we are both goig to go to couples therapy and each alone to individual. i feel bad but i told her that this is her last chance with me regarding two things. if she ever hides a new male friend from me or tries suicide again i will walk away instantly. i dont know if telling someone this right after a suicide attempt is wrong but i had to tell her that.

i know realize that if she had cheated on me i probably wouldnt have stayed with her. it would have eaten me apart inside.

i will talk to the doc about her diagnosis and her meds. thanks for the suggestion.

what you have said here is going to be the biggest hurdle for you, can you truly believe and are you willing to believe

"i now realize that if she had cheated on me i probably wouldn't have stayed with her. it would have eaten me apart inside."

If you don't believe that you will, then now is the best time to leave, prolonging it will just cause more pain.

311. don't feel bad about what you said to her, you have to draw the line somewhere and when she is in a fairly decent frame of mind is the best time to do that, please try and put the thought out of your head at the moment about the cheating thing, that can be dealt with in time, I know that it is hard, but you need to for your sanity, for the sake of your kids, and for the sake of your marriage if you truly feel that you can get beyond this... if you let it fester at you, you will end up fighting all the time about it, will never be able to trust again and build on your relationship. It's all going to be up to you if you can forgive, I know forgetting isn't possible..

what you have said here is going to be the biggest hurdle for you, can you truly believe and are you willing to believe

"i now realize that if she had cheated on me i probably wouldn't have stayed with her. it would have eaten me apart inside."

If you don't believe that you will, then now is the best time to leave, prolonging it will just cause more pain.

no no...she did not cheat. she didnt. and im glad because i dont know if she did if i would be able to get over it. she just called that guy to get cocaine from him to have with some friends of hers that i know and trust. i thought she went out to hang out with this guy. i mean her getting coke from him is bad but at least she wasnt calling him to go hang out and cheat on me.

i have decided to stay with her. she gets out tomorrow and we have to work on stuff. i have to decide if i will move back to chicago to be near my family because thats what she wants. she gets depressed because we are in cali by ourselves and she wishes we were closer to family. she gets lonely out here.

lots of things to figure out.