Bipolar Support Group

So Ive been seeing my girlfriend for 6 months now and have had many ups and downs. Ive been reading some of the discussion forums and I feel like Im going through almost the EXACT same things. Ive researched bipolar disorder and brought it up to her about 3 months ago during one of our fights (probably not the best time to bring it out, I know). She also has trust and confidence issues due to her past boyfriends cheating on and beating her. Ive never cheated or put a finger on her. Im always there for her 100% and treat her right. But whenever we're out or apart due to work or other things, she ALWAYS accuses me of either cheating, looking for another woman, checking girls out or thinking about doing it. And when I try to reassure her that I love her so much and I would never do those things or anything to hurt her, all she does is call me a liar and gets pissed when I think its not a big deal beacuse Im trying to stay calm while shes blowing up. She says she cant trust me and that I dont give her any good reasons for her to trust me. Two weeks ago I told her to leave me alone after a week staright of fighting. She kept telling me to go be with "her". It got to the point where I was crying and hurting almost everyday. I told her it was over and that I didnt want to see her anymore or talk to her. All of a sudden she started hugging me and saying sorry and calling and coming to my house when I told her to stay away. I went out to talk to her that same night and we were both crying. I was telling her that I want peace in my life, not chaos. She kept saying sorry and thay she was going to pursue counseling and she swore it. I told her that I didnt believe her and that after a while things were going to go back to the way they were where we fight because of her trust issues. She promised it would get better and I told her that I didnt want to be hurt again. Up to about 4 days ago it was so great! We were in love, hugging, kissing and smiling. Well, here we are two weeks later from me breaking up with her and shes saying the same hurtful things and saying to go be with "her" again. She says shes really done with me this time and I just dont know what to do or believe. I really do love and care for her a lot. I want to be with and grow with her, and only her. I want to help but how do I know if she wants to get help too? Do I tell her that I think she has bipolar again and discuss it(when shes calmed down of course)? Do I run for the hills? Will there be nothing but hurt in both of our futures? Is there a way for us to just be happy with each other for at least a majority of the time we're together? Please help, I feel so lost and I have no one to talk to

I'm sorry to hear you've been having problems with your girlfriend. Having trust or confidence issues (especially with her relationship history) is not neccessarily indicative of bipolar, so you may want to consider how you raise that with her. I would suggest that you get her to a pdoc ASAP, so that you can both have an understanding about what is causing your issues.

imo she really needs to get to a pdoc, and get a diagnosis. if she is bp, only a pdoc can diagnose it.

if she is unwilling to go, to get help....then yes, run for the hills.

she is the only one that can help herself. you can be there for support, but she has to want to be better, for herself.

she may just be messed up because of her past relationships, it may just be that she needs therapy to see why she chose that type of man before. who knows what causes what.

you can not force her to get help for herself, but you can take care of yourself

feel free to vent or ask questions or whatever here. we will stand by your decision, no matter what it is.

joyce

You might want to consider the fact some of these behaviors are her personality. It makes me sad that so many behaviors are blamed on Bipolar Disorder, when the actually are part of a person's personality. Only a doctor or psychologist doing testing can make a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. It is a medical condition in which the brain chemistry needs medication and treatment for the individual to function.

You might want to consider some help for yourself though to cope with this situation. You would be amazed what good a therapist can do if you are in relationships that you find to be a problem. Sorting things out with someone who can guide you can do you a world of good. Best of luck to you.