can it be ok without meds?

bipolar. He has done bizarre, moody, hurtful,

sneaky, etc. etc. etc. things for YEARS.

He went years without incidents, then something

every year or so, now seems one long manic episode

from May thru October this year and it seems he is

wavering between ok, slightly depressed, and maybe

hypomania (just me seeing this from what I've read)

He admits he lies, is "stupid with money" and

has a "terrible temper" his words, but doesn't know WHY he does the things he does, says he does them "JUST BECAUSE"

When I ask him if he thinks the things he has done

are ok to do, he says no.

When I ask him if he would put up with me doing these things he says probably not.

I asked him again why he does these things he yelled at me "Because I didn't think I would get CAUGHT!!!"

NO remorse there. This is a man in his fifties, not a stupid kid.

When I told him it is not BECAUSE that makes him do these things it is BIPOLAR he refuses to believe.

He has been diagnosed 4 years ago and said the psychiatrist is wrong & doesn't know anything.

He always apologizes afterwards, yet at the same time denies any wrongdoing.

So I asked him what am I supposed to do? He doesn't think he needs a doctor, and right at this very minute, maybe he doesn't. BUT... shouldn't he already be seeing one so when he starts up with an episode he will already have a doctor patient relationship established?

He says he doesn't NEED one. He will be good.

He will behave.

I felt like I was listening to a six year old child rather than a grown man.

CAN someone really control themselves without meds to that degree???

I am so out of it from all the years of this.

I think he really BELIEVES he can control himself, while he is OK, but as soon as something starts he forgets what it means. Is anybody really OK without medication of some kind? If not medication, then at least seeing a therapist regularly? Any advise???

my wife too cycles from may till oct(wierd)only this past cycle was bad.she ended up in mental wards 2 times,jail once,lost job,1 suiside atempt,cheated,destroyed items at home,just wreaked havac on all us.could meds have prevented that?i'd like to think so.

and yes,untreated ,they are like a large child.they do no wrong,and hate to get caught.

my wife is now medicated and i must say is a diferent person.level,calm(other than side effects)and easir to speak to.however it is also her cycle off time.so we'll see what happens in the spring!

Check out the links under my name called favorite links and sites, look for the psych/ed link, they talk about something called the kindling affect, basically the longer they go untreated, the worse the illness gets, and it basically rewires the brain to go off more frequently.

Carmen, I read kindling and I believe that must be what is going on with him. He is also drinking a lot, so kindling & drinking may explain why I feel this situation is (speeding up) on him.

We will be divorced soon, but I still love him, and want him to be WELL.

Our daughter is afraid for him, wants him to go to the doctor, and she is only 13.

robs- Sounds like you know exactly what I am going thru. My hubby hasn't been arrested this year that I know of (was for shoplifting a few years back), but I have had to call 911 this year due to a rage incident. He has really deteriorated in a lot of ways this past 18 months or so.

I am so thankful for this forum.

Take care,

Sky

Post edited by: sky, at: 01/08/2008 06:33

I need some help. I think my spouse may be bi-polar or something! He is a compulsive liar, he is soooo moody, and he has cheated, so I suspect quite a few times. He went on a business trip 2 days ago and last night he didn' call me at att and his cell phone was turned off. The last time this happened he lied and said that he was on a business trip in Connecticut and I found a reciept for a hotel in Philadelphia, which is 45 min from where we live. He made up some story that a friend needed help and the hotel was for him and he was in Connecticut. Well, the hotel was on his business card. He also spends alot of money! Can anyone help me, PLEASE!!!!

The bf is always sorry after he goes into one of his rants too. He says he didn't mean to hurt me, he's never hit me, it's just these heated, enraged arguements and they start when I just say a simple comment. You have to tred lightly, sense when is the right time to discuss things, you just can't go up to the person and discuss things, you'll know when the time is right. That's what I have learned.

Post edited by: suzette, at: 01/08/2008 11:03

the bipolar, but that and the mood swings, wasting money, all the other 'stuff'. I've really reached the end of my patience and I know it is because he refuses treatment. If he tried to help himself, I know I would not be at this point.

Post edited by: sky, at: 01/08/2008 21:42

the same types of behaviors.

The denial is SO frustrating.

Carmen- yes my daughter knows her Dad is sick. He has unfortunately 'put it out for public knowledge' and embarrassed, scared,and upset her by having outbursts outside where neighbors and her friends have seen & heard way too much.

A kid ran home and got her grandmother, who came right

up to my driveway when he was waving beer cans and yelling curses at the top of his lungs.

I told my next door neighbors flat out he has bipolar because they hear him yelling and cursing like a drunken sailor and have asked me if I am alright. I think they thought he was beating me or something, which he has never done. But when the windows are open, and he is having one of his manic rages, it must sound terrible outside as it does inside the house.

I have known them 14 yrs, it is embarrassing.

I explained to our daughter that he can't help it he needs medicine to make his brain chemicals ok , and I also take her to a therapist.

Post edited by: sky, at: 01/08/2008 21:24

Post edited by: sky, at: 01/08/2008 22:03