Hello

I have been severely depressed for almost 4 years.I have been on many meds and combos with little or no relief. My Psychiatrist recently changed my diagnosis from Unipolar depression to Bipolar Type II.

Looking back on my life and some painful stretches it actually makes sense.Bipolar if often unrecognized especially at an early age. I feel like this helps explain some very confusing thoughts and emotions I've felt over the years.I come from a terribly dysfunctional family including a verbally abusive father which hasn't helped me.

I am a shell of the person I was before I became ill. I was running a very successful home improvement business and rebuilding my house. Money was never an issue. Now I can barely face work and the debt is mounting. I don't enjoy my family or anything for that matter.

I'm so tired mentally and physically and am at a loss as to what to do for myself anymore.My Doctor has changed my meds to better treat Bipolar and I know I must be strong but it becomes more difficult with each passing month. My Bipolar manifests itself primarily as very severe depression. The cycling really just shows itself as different degrees of pain. My other extreme seems to be Hypomania where I can't sit still and actually become highly functional to a fault.

I have a nice life to go back to if I should ever get well. The more I educate myself about Bipolar type II the more terrified I become. I thought I was dealing with a uni-polar depression that might not recur for years if corrected. Bi-polar is genetic,recurrent, and as in my case sometimes very difficult to treat. I have suffered terribly and just need a break. The fight has been excruciating as I am too young to simply accept this as the end of my life.My family needs me.

Sorry for getting so long winded as I've barely scratched the surface of whats going on in my head. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and feelings here as well as hearing from you all.Best wishes.Billyb

It is important for you to know that bipolar disorder is treatable. It will take time, patience and diligence on your part but you will get there. I would suggest finding a good therapist to help you in this process. Studies firmly prove that a combination of meds and therapy have significantly better results than meds alone.

It sounds like you are rapid cycling through moods but you identify with the depression because of its severity. This is very common. I suggest you read some more to learn all the subtleties of bipolar II disorder. I like Merck's Medical Manual, the mental health section is excellent. You can go to libraries and bookstores and read anything of interest without the expense.

Please continue to post in this forum. I have learned a lot here and I hope you will too.

Dee