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10/02/2008 10:15 PM

Do I stay or do I go? Part 2

lucille2688
lucille2688  
Posts: 30
Member

[b] So in part 1 of my forum "Do I stay or do I go?" pretty much every post told me to ditch the man I'm with. Well, I didn't listen to anyone and I stayed. Not too sure I'm happy with my decision at the moment. You see, I have two children. Two VERY small children, one being almost two and the other almost two months old. My youngest was crying earlier and my fiancee said, "You'd think that he would give you a break already. He causes so many problems." I replied, "It's not his job to give me a break, he's a baby." Then he couldn't find his shoes so automatically he blamed it on our two year old. He said, "Someone needs to do something about this." I replied, "She's a kid, that's the kind of stuff kids do. If kids are such a problem for you then why did you have them?" His response, "If I would have known that I didn't like kids, I wouldn't have."

WOW!! That statement enraged me but at the same time it hurt. It hurt so much. Then he gets mad at my reaction!! He blames it on my disorder. Wow.

He then started complaining about how he works all damn day and how he never gets a break. Mind you he works at the porn shop... it involves no manual labor of any kind. Not to mention he works Mon.-Thurs. 4pm to 7pm and Fri.-Sun. 12am-9am. BY CHOICE!! He volunteered to never get a day off and then he bitches to me about it. He sits on his ass, reads books, and rings up porn and sex toys while I'm at home cleaning and caring for our kids all day. UGH!! I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!

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10/02/2008 10:29 PM
Elvis
Elvis  
Posts: 45
Member

I didnt catch part one, but from what i just read your situation sounds horrible. I want to start by saying im so sorry for you and by offering you my support anytime. I think the best thing for you to do would be to get your children and leave him. A relationship like this seems to be is so detrimental (sp?) to your self esteem and the progress of your disorder. Not to mention the way your children will feel growing up around this. I definately think that they should have their father in their lives but it seems like it would be a better situation for them if he wasnt around to constantly make these kinds of comments. His behavior, as well as yours, will change who they are wether they seem affected now or not.

10/02/2008 10:57 PM
lucille2688
lucille2688  
Posts: 30
Member

Elvis, read part 1 and you'll see why so many people said to leave. I'm such an idiot.

10/03/2008 04:50 AM
LadyRahl
LadyRahl  
Posts: 1415
Senior Member

Well there's nothing that says that you HAVE to stay there even though you didn't leave before.

10/05/2008 07:48 AM
norma
normaPosts: 10109
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

If you want to be convinced to leave, and that is the reason for this post, then look at your children and think about what is best for them. Being in a relationship with someone who is insensitive to your feelings is going to take it's toll. If counseling will help get some if you are going to stay. If you are going to leave then set a time frame and make plans. Or stay in the situation and learn to live with it. I would strongly recommend on not doing the latter.

But, sweetie it is your life...you have to make the decision for yourself...good luck.


10/06/2008 06:42 AM
kimminentdanger
kimminentdanger  
Posts: 2517
VIP Member

Little Miss Lucille - (Jordan)

You KNOW how I feel about this guy.

I think you know the answer to your own question already....

Hang in there toots; you know there are ways for you to get out when you're ready, and as I told you, I'm here to help if/when that time comes.


10/06/2008 07:50 AM
heatherr
heatherr  
Posts: 395
Member

You arent an idiot. Love clouds our better judgement sometimes. I completely agree with Norma. *hugs*

10/06/2008 08:49 AM
jritchie
jritchie  
Posts: 9229
VIP Member

Do what's right for your kids. Period. Do you want them growing up and seeing you treated that way? Or do you want a life partner? You could probably do better on your own, he doesn't seem to help anyway.

But think about your kids. They are young enough where the damage may not have been done yet.

Hon, I've been thru it. I understand. It's hard.

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