Bipolar Support Group

This is the first time I have gone online for support so I don't really know what I am doing. All I do know is I need someone I can talk to. I have Bipolar II which was just diagnosed 1 year ago after being hospitalized for the third time for suicide attempt. For the last 10 yrs I was told that I had Major Depression. They haven't been able to stabilize me on meds yet, I have been on just about every antidepressant there is. I am so sick of living this shell of a life. Where did the person I used to be go? I know I used to have joy in my life, I used to be a nurse and loved what I did. I have no joy now. Most days I can't leave my bed, I care about nothing, I don't clean or cook or even take care of myself anymore. I feel guilty that my fiance has to support me and take care of the house and I have nothing to give him in return. I told him he would be better off without me and he would, he just can't or won't see it. I'm not eating, not sleeping, not living. I feel like a failure in every aspect of my life. What do I do????

Welcome. I for one, and I think I speak for everyone here will tell you that they are glad that you found us. Here is a warm, caring non judgemental atmosphere where you can feel free to talk about whatever you wish, ask any questions you may have or just jump right in and start posting to topics. Are you taking medication? That is so important. I am sure you feel like a crash test dummy and I know that i did too after being diagnosed wrong for years with major depression. It just didnt seem to help the hypomanic episodes I was experiencing. I am so sorry that you feel you are a burden to your fiance. I am sure you are not. Have you found a good therapist? How about a good Psychiatrist? All these things are so important in keeping you stable. Maybe your meds need another adjustment if you are having problems just functioning. All I can tell you is I am here for you and you can feel free to personal message PM me or any of the group leaders here in this forum. They have alot of insight and are always willing to listen and to give the best advise they can. I hope that you feel better.

Welcome to the group. Lrose is right about everything she said. All I can add is try not to look into the past, but look to the future. Comparing yourself to who you use to be will only increase your depression. I know because I do that too. The good news is that if you seek help and get treatment you will get better! I guarantee it. It might now be what you hoped, but at least you are taking the right steps towards recover. Please keep us updated!

I have felt like you do. It is the depression and you can feel better with the right meds and therapy. Now that you are properly diagnosed they can treat your bipolar. It takes time for the meds to kick in. Please be patient, but talk with your pdoc while you are waiting too.

I am sorry that you feel this way, but we are here for you and understand. Take care.

I am so sorry you are going through so many struggles. I hope the light starts to shine soon. Don't worry, there are a ton of people here who will always be there when you need to vent.

Your fiance seems to love you very much. You are worthy and deserving of his love. You will get better in time. Please keep fighting and don't give up.

I know exactly how you feel...i take it one day at a time. Just know that you are not alone.

I am new, but it seems as if you will receive a lot of support here. I feel the way you do alot of the time. As someone else here said, the only way I can make it is to take one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. you are not alone in this.

I think we have all probably been where you are now at one time or another. Lrose offers great advice, but i am of the opinion that if you are not taking care of yourself, you could benefit from going inpatient for awhile to get on a good cocktail of meds and going on the right track. Best of luck. I hope you feel better soon. And please keep us updated on your progress.

Thank you everyone for your replies. My medications aren't working and I have had a hard time finding a good Dr. of anything that can help. They have me on Wellbutrin 300mg, zoloft 100mg and seroquel 300mg. I also take Dextroamphetamine 10mg for ADD which isn't helping either. I had a horrible night last night and started to make a plan to go see my kids and grandkid this weekend then checkout so I think I will go inpatient again because I can't do that to them. It would be so much easier for me but I know the damage it would do to those who love me. I am so glad that I found this site. It is such a relief to be able to tell you all what is going on and know that you understand. It gives me hope that I can get better.