stormy_eyez742
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[b] Hello Everyone, I was diagnosed with bipolar I, anxiety/panic disorder and possibly ADD back in March 2007. I was introduced to this site through my best friend who is also bipolar. I have been lingering and just reading posts here and there when I can. However, I thought it was only fair for me to stop lurking and to introduce myself. I have suffered with Bipolar the majority of my life. I was never formally diagnosed until I turned 33. Amazing how so many can miss this disease. *sigh* Of course, like many people with bipolar, I engaged in high risk and dangerous behaviors as a teen. I stayed in trouble with the juvenile authorities, I self medicated with drugs, alcohol, sex and anything else that would make me feel 'normal'. I was hospitalized many times for repeated suicide attempts beginning at age 11 or 12. Then, of course, came the private psychiatric & drug rehab inpatient stays, farmed out to different relatives and youth homes. At the age of 15 I got pregnant and had a baby a month into my 16th year. Ripe old age to be a parent, eh? Anyway, after that my life was a blur of drug abuse, suicide attempts, violence, rape, homelessness, failed marriages, more babies and just utter debauchery. I don't know how or why I made it this far but I got awarded with the diagnoses of Bipolar.  I am pretty bitter and cynical at this point but I will try to remain positive in my posts. When I had my breakdown in March, I never knew how completely bipolar would grab ahold of me. I had never really experienced what I am going through now or maybe I did but just medicated myself. Whatever the reason, I feel really terrible for my current husband and my children. I think they suffer worse than I do because of my illness. However, I have faith that once my doc's find the right meds and therapy path that my life will change immensely. Until then, I am a raging manic..hehe Sorry, was a bit of a play on words. Btw, I am nortorious for my humor as a way of dealing with my illness. I mean, if you can't laugh at being sick you MUST be crazy. Sheesh, there I go again... Anyway, I look forward to reading as many of all of your posts as possible. Right now, I just had another failed new drug attempt. This time it was Abilify and I am really wrestling with my doc on the whole Lithium ride. I don't want to get on it and he thinks I should. I want to try Lamictal but I will post that in other areas maybe and see what kind of feedback I get. So, anything the new kid on the block should know? Tips, hints, magical tricks to make life easier and better for me or my family? I guess I should tell you that I am very familiar with bipolar and other psychiatric issues because my oldest son (the one I had at 16) is diagnosed Bipolar and the whole alphabet soup as well. However, remember that saying? You know, the one about never knowing about something until you walk a mile in 'that' persons shoes? Well, he threw his shoes at me...LOL Okay, enough rambling, can you tell I'm manic AND I am about to go shopping...*gasp* Thanks for letting me share my novel with you. ~Peace~ Laura aka Stormy ~Stormy |
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