I'm sad

Right now, I feel sad for what happened. I think I have not fully let go yet...He messaged me a few days ago saying sorry for hurting me and how sad it is that it is over. He said that letting me go is the best thing he can do for me so as not to hurt me anymore. The words are positive but it reminded me again of the hurt and disappointment...I did not reply because I did not know what to say anymore..There comes a time when you feel youve spent all your energies that the words dont come out anymore, its just too much effort...

How can I let go finally? This is my first break up and its no fun...=) Mentally, I know that he is not good for me. I know what I want in a relationship and he was not able to deliver thats why I broke up with him. I have accepted that it's over.

But how come I am still hurting? I dont want to date again just to forget him. I want to be rid of this emotional baggage already...Now its really a will and a choice to be happy more than anything else...

If this is your first break-up it is going to take an extremely long time to get over it. The best advice that I can give you is ' don't go back'!

Not to sound presumptuous but when you break-up with a love, or a potential love a lot of people have a tendency to continue to sleep with the person or have lengthy talk to receive some sort of intimacy. You mentioned that you wanted to let go, well, just don't associate with the person. It is extremely hard especially when this person was most likely the first person you talked to when anything! happened in your life, but you just can't allow yourself the agony of thinking of him.

The recognition that the reason why you guys broke up was because it wasn't working. He needs to learn how to be a stable person first, ( if he is BP).

Just remember there is a reason why you guys broke-up and that it is very hard to get over something that is constantly in your way.

My advice is to find other things to occupy your time and your thoughts. You may have to force yourself to do it, but make arrangements to spend time with friends and family, take a class, join a group, pursue a hobby, exercise, etc. You'll feel better and your mind will be on other things.

Mitch, we have no contact anymore except for an sms a few days ago with him apologizing for his doings. My problem is he and I are officers of the same non profit org. I would have to see him at least once a month for meetings. He or I cannot go on forever avoiding each other in meetings when we have certain responsibilities.

Newday, I am a very busy person but even though I have many things to think about, its very hard to shake it off that deep inside I feel some sort of sadness in me..

Bejeweled, I am certainly excited to reach that point when it just does not matter anymore.

It's frustrating when things dont turn out as we expected even though we did our darn best to do things right. I felt all my efforts have gone to waste. I know the act itself of doing good to someone should be the reward but it still does not make me feel any better.

I have accepted the fact that its over. I am not hoping for a reconciliation. He already apologized for the failure of the relationship. But why am I still feeling sad? It's frustrating when our emotions and intellect dont coincide, some sort of internal conflict...

I think I also need to accept that life is not perfect, that some things are really beyond our control..I need to disassociate myself with the failure of the relationship from failure of my self. The relationship failed but I did not fail because I did the right things. Sometimes I think, its really my ego that was shattered here. I, known by my friends as Ms. Do Everything Right had a short lived relationship with a mentally unstable person. I, who is a secure person living a happy single life and very careful of getting into a messy relationship did exactly what I was avoiding my whole life. Sometimes I think God has a funny way of making us face our fears head on.... =)