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11/12/2009 06:21 PM

BiPolar Break-ups?

Fierosmom

Why is it assumed that when a person with BiPolar breaks up with someone it is the "BiPolar" talking. I have been in numerous relationships and the ones that I was the breakee in it was a VERY GOOD DECISION. In one instance it may have seemed like I was giving him mixed messages because we continued sleeping together, but my decision to break-up with him was good with no regrets.

Maybe I'm reading into the posts too much, but sometimes when I read posts from the non-bipolar ex it's almost like he or she feels their partner wouldn't have left them if he/she didn't have BiPolar. Pardon? Last time I checked I can still make decisions for myself. Okay my rant is done. Beth.

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11/12/2009 06:24 PM
noahwiatt
noahwiatt  
Posts: 164
Member

I get that alot too when I fight with my husband. It pisses me off becauase I have my own feelings that are true feeling and not bipolar. I am bipolar and I hate it. Hang in there and pray to God. I will be there for you if you need help.

11/12/2009 08:28 PM
jennywren
jennywrenPosts: 3162
Senior Member

Fierosmom,

Only you know whether it was the Bipolar Disorder which was behind you leaving you spouse.

I would think that you would understand that still sleeping with your partner was giving mixed messages.

Now that being said it needs to be recognised that a person with Bipolar Disorder when in a manic state, can do some very unsual things ie tell spouse they can no longer live with them, are sexually hyperactive; the list goes on.

I was going to enter a message about a week ago, asking just how does the ordinary bod know when a person with Bipolar Disorder is serious. We can, well I can say things which are "off" to another person.

In many ways I see nothing wrong with what I said but the other person was offended/hurt. And when I thought about it further I realised it was "off".

When you think about it, it is very difficult for the average bod to understand where we are comming from.

JennyWren


11/12/2009 08:35 PM
bagofcandy
bagofcandyPosts: 1259
Senior Member

You know I've been thinking the same thing lately with all the break up threads that've been posted lately. I chalked that thought up to bipolar irritability though cause I usually empathize with these non-bps posting and realize they're trying to get perspective from people who've been there so to speak. Anyway, yeah it gets on my nerves.

11/12/2009 08:41 PM
Fierosmom

Jennyswren, I hear what you're saying and certainly I can recognize some hypomanic states during some break-ups that I have had. However, the result is what I wanted, but perhaps the theatrics weren't necessary (part of the hypomania for me). Note: I have never been married.

I just have a hard time swallowing that a person with BiPolar is so much different than a person without BiPolar when it comes to break-ups/relationship issues. I have witnessed some over the top relationship antics and neither person was BiPolar. Sometimes when love and passion is involved maybe we as humans act a little out of character?

As far as me giving my ex mixed messages I certainly was, but I also wasn't the person that initiated it. Is that a weakness of mine. Yes. Do I need to work on it. Yes. Is it because I have BiPolar. I don't know because many of my girlfriends have slept with their exes as well and they don't have BiPolar. Sometimes for me I'm just looking for comfort and familiarity. Not proud of it, but it is what it is. Beth


11/12/2009 08:45 PM
Fierosmom

bagofcandy, appreciated your post. For me it's natural to get a bit defensive when everyday it seems there were several posts noting the same concern. We are humans first and this diagnosis is just something we have. Beth

11/12/2009 08:52 PM
jennywren
jennywrenPosts: 3162
Senior Member

Beth:"I don't know because many of my girlfriends have slept with their exes as well and they don't have BiPolar. "

Now I am not too sure what to make if this Beth. Hate to say it, but it is to me very unusal behavour. For the "average people", to behave like that. In this neck of the woods, there is very little of it.

To me and in my books this can indeed be asking for problems ie physical/mental from their exs. Let alone upset kids, not knowing if they are comming or going.

But then this is in this part of the world.

JennyWren


11/12/2009 08:58 PM
Fierosmom

LOL No worries. I don't have children. I have never been married and when my girlfriends had hooked up with exes it was before they were married and had children.

Trying not to feel judged by you, but kinda do. Either way I don't plan on sleeping with an ex again, but if it happens I'm not going to beat myself up. Beth


11/13/2009 03:01 AM
jennywren
jennywrenPosts: 3162
Senior Member

Nah not really judging you Beth, well might be a little bit. Sorry. I am probally out of order here.

I wanted to stick up for the ordinary bod, well the ones I know of and hear of here (not the US), who are not quite into sleeping with their exs as it appears in the US. Hate to say it, but it is for most of them the last thing that they would want to do, cannot wait to get away from him. Dunno how the males feel about it.

JennyWren


11/13/2009 06:04 AM
Fierosmom

Jennywren, I understand that's the risk I take when I post and I'm completely open and honest about what's going on in my life or what I have done in past. Some people may judge but others may relate to it and that's how we learn from each other.

No book could have taught me what I have learned in my life.

I'm also not from the United States. Beth

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