Punky
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From one homemaker to another, this job is tough and when you have mental illness like I do it can feel impossible sometimes. I'm bipolar and suffer with depression and suicidal thoughts off and on all the time. I often come to the forums and share my thoughts, sometimes suicidal ones, and even if there is just one person's response it is wonderful. I'm glad for these forums. I try not to give advice because I feel I can't even help myself right now, but I will say this, it can always get worse. Just be thankful you don't have psychosis. With psychosis you are truly alone..witnessing yourself being alone. It's truly a traumatic nightmare. Do you write? I Love to write and find it very helpful when I'm sad or even when I have so much love that I feel like I'm going to burst. Well, I "burst" it all on paper, even if I don't like the outcome. It always helps me. Or music too. My daddy used to write music and lyrics, he still plays guitar, and I probably got my love and appreciation of music from him. But sometimes I'll lie on the couch listening to music and follow along with the lyrics...being at one with the music. Maybe you can try doing those. I'm not going to tell you not to be scared, I'm scared alot of the time too...it's a natural feeling. But know that you do have these forums now. It's good when you don't have the money for a therapist or when you need to feel like there's others out there. Hmm, you spoke of "the Lord". Maybe you can talk to the Lord...unload a little, or a lot. I used to do that when I had psychosis. I saw black demons in the church but I knelt down and in my mind talked and cried to Jesus. |
