Home
Home | MarketPlace | Register

Group Menu
Why wear a ribbon?
"I have mild Cerebral Palsy, and my hubby is Bipolar." (MichelleSchwinger)
Wear the green ribbon
Menu
It's Free
We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
Bipolar Support Group Welcome to the
Bipolar Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with bipolar disorder, together.
    Join This Group    
    Ask a Question    
      Tell a Friend      
 
Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support responsibility
 

responsibility


Related Discussions:

05/19/2008 20:45
eminette
Teal Ribbon
Posts: 16
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Hello. I first posted in april and still my saga continues. Boyfriend became manic went to hospital. Was released and continued his meds. Started cycling and became delusional again. started travelling to and from different relatives in different states. stopped taking meds. Supposedly going to hospital tomorrow with his dad...but we'll see. When manic he hangs the phone up on me... if he even calls me.he tells me his meds are none of my business. I have 3 boys , one that is his. He is almost a year old. We're supposed to get married in Sept. Everyone tells me to walk on eggshells and only talk about what he wants to talk about. He is not helping himself at all and my gut feeling is to tell him how this is affecting me and our family. Is this wrong? I never fight with him I just tell him how I feel. I can't see how walking around acting like he's just fine is going to help anyone. Shouldn't he take responsibility for his own actions or inactions? Any advice?

Popular posts by eminette
    sounds scary
    I'm worried
    feeling lost
Post Reply   Quote


05/19/2008 20:53
zinnia
Posts: 2541
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 before you marry this person, you should do exactly what you're suggesting. i don't know who is telling you to walk on eggshells, b ut that doesn't seem like good advice to me. if you're married, you'll be the biggest part of his support system. you can't make him go on meds, but you can tell him that until he is treated, you cannot marry him. your instincts are right on and i think you should go with them.

any chance of you going to a doctor's appointment with him? that might really help both of you, not to mention going to counseling together.

peace.

z.

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...

"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
Post Reply   Quote


05/19/2008 21:12
eminette
Teal Ribbon
Posts: 16
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I would love to go to the doc with him, but he has trusted in his father for 13 years to handle this with him and I don't think he is ready for me to take this on yet. This is my first experience of this part of the illness with him. When he first starts to exhibit illogical actions and reactions do you think he should be going to the hospital before it gets worse considering his tendency to take off and get worse. and if so do you have any suggestions on being presuasive in doing that? I feel like I need some tools that i dont yet have to be able to deal with this.


Popular posts by eminette
    sounds scary
    I'm worried
    feeling lost
Post Reply   Quote


05/20/2008 03:11
carmen33
Green Ribbon
Posts: 7314
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 eminette, who ever is giving the advice of walk on egg shells and agree with everything that comes out of his mouth are out of their minds.. this is not a way to live, sit him down, tell him how you feel and that you will not marry him till such a time as he can show you he is serious about getting well and stable.. you don't deserve or need to live a life like this, nor do your children, the one by him included.. your first priority is to consider how this will effect the kids.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/ 02_diagnosis.html#soft
http://www.mdjunction.com/hidradenitis-suppurativa
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-1
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-2
http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-type-ii
Post Reply   Quote


05/20/2008 06:24
norma
Posts: 6990
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Dear Emminteet...listen to Zinnia and Carmen...think long and hard about entering into marriage with someone this unstable. Sounds to me like whoever is telling you to walk on eggshells is enabling his unhealthy behaviors. Everyone needs feed back from those around them to tell when they are not having appropriate behavior. It is like letting a child slap an adult in the face and never being corrected. People with bipolar disease, myself included, need feed back to tell us when our behaviors affect others.

I would put the marriage on the back burner and turn the fire down low. Take care of yourself and your children. And let him get some help...he sounds immature.

hugs

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Post Reply   Quote


05/20/2008 07:00
NewDayDawning
Posts: 170
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 If you're in a serious relationship with this guy and planning on marrying him, then his meds are absolutely your business! I agree with the others who say to put the marriage on hold. Things aren't going to get any better if you get married. If he won't take responsibility for managing his illness, you are in for a rocky road, I'm afraid.

Besides just telling him how you feel, you need to decide what you're willing to put up with and what you are not. Living with someone whose bipolar disorder is totally out of control is incredibly difficult, draining and frustrating. Over 90% of marriages in which one person is bipolar end in divorce (source: http://www.lifeloveandbipolar.com/ bipolar_disorder_and_divorce.html

Post edited by: NewDayDawning, at: 05/20/2008 09:17


Popular posts by NewDayDawning
    bipolar husband
Post Reply   Quote


05/20/2008 07:11
norma
Posts: 6990
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Hey, NewDayDawning...I just went to that link that you cited above and it said page not available...it did lead to an informative site about bipolar...maybe you would have another link to cite...for the statistic about divorce and bipolar?
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Post Reply   Quote


05/20/2008 07:19
NewDayDawning
Posts: 170
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Sorry -- I had a parenthesis at the end of the link and that caused it not to work. I edited my post, so the link should work now. It's a very interesting website with lots of good info for folks in relationships with people who have bipolar disorder.

Popular posts by NewDayDawning
    bipolar husband
Post Reply   Quote


05/20/2008 08:15
norma
Posts: 6990
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Newdaydawning...i really liked that web site...especially the part where they talk about a sense of humor to deal with some of the issues...thanks for sharing it with us...the more information we get the better it makes us all understand.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Post Reply   Quote



Start a New Discussion

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. Read More.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | Add a Doctor | For Doctors | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Spread the Word | Advertise
Copyright (c) 2008 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved