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zinnia
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i'm sorry for the whining but my day was really bad and i'm feeling a little scared. i woke up this morning and did not feel well right away. fine physically but mentally just felt wrong/off. i felt nervous and anxious. i had to go to court today so that is kind of normal but this was different. i don't feel like i can focus on anything. i am dragging myself around and i can't stand it. this afternoon, i found out that i missed a court hearing. you heard me right-i just missed it. new office and new secretary and papers lost in the shuffle and missed it and i'm in trouble and i suck so bad. i KNOW i need my meds but are they making me stupid? it's hard enough to deal with problems with reading and writing on the meds. now are they making me dumb, too, because that's how i feel. feeling worthless and need someone to tell me to keep taking the meds and that this will pass. i have to call client and explain my mistake. i'm so scared. i know i just have to put the mask on and do it, but i hate it so much. the meds are making me dumb and bad at my job. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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norma
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You are not dumb...and you are not worthless...You just made a mistake. Pure and simple. Don't beat yourself up...just make the phone call. I go through the same thing and am the world's best at self-flagillation...(and I am a worse speller than you). I am not going to tell you it will pass...I am going to tell you to stop playing the "i am worthless tape". You are upset at making a mistake...like anything else you need a little time to regroup...what works for me in a situation like this is action....doing something to make a safeguard that it probably won't happen again.... Know you are a wonderful person...because I think so...and I hate being wrong. {{{{{hug}}}}} "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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zinnia
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thanks norma. am crying now but just because i'm hearing your voice and it's making me feel a little better to know you're out there somewhere. i think i'm just not at the top of my game right now. i know i need to face the music and make the call. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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norma
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i am right here...gather your thoughts and make the call...it is like pulling off a band-aid...if you do it slowly it hurts more....know you are loved...if you screw up..you are still loved. If you do well you are still loved... "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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red1965
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HUGS ZINNIA! Do not listen to your self, you are not worthless! Quite to the contrary you are precious. You are our friend, through thick and thin. You will have to make the call but the bright spot is that there will be geat relief from this anxiety once it is over. How long has it been since you have been to the doc. Wanna reason to keep taking your meds... while this seems bad, remember what it was like before them. Your awesome! GOD BLESS RED |
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amom
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Zinnia you are one of my favorite people on here and no i won't list the rest cause there are way too many ...Anyhow I'm sorry you are having a crappy day Now remember I think the world of you so don't take this wrong GIRL YOU ARE AWSOME BUT.....YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND YOU WILL ON RARE OCCASION MAKE A MISTAKE PLEASE DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP [DAM CAP LOCK KEY]make the call chances are the client has made a mistake at some point in their life and should be able to deal with you being human.[[[[[[[huge hug]]]]]]]] |
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glory
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OK youngin, is it time for big bad Gloria to smack ya around a little??????? lol Listen kid,,,I don't have stupid or worthless friends.. Hell, if they're worthless, what good will they do me...I'm nuts..!!! You are my friend so that means you can't be either of those things. I know I am old and expected to forget everything, but I forgot everthing when I was young too. lol Anyway, you gotta start leaving yourself notes. I write notes to me a hundred times a day..... Just don't forget where they are!!! lololol I need and love you, zinnia! Love Gloria
"We Know We Are Out Of Step When"
We cannot walk a straight line.
We've stepped on our brother's foot.
We forget to be thankful.
We feel alone.
We think our dance is the only dance there is.
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southern10
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Hey Zinnia...We are human beings and all of us make mistakes.....You are not worthless.....Dont beat your self up...You are a such a sweetheart and your just having on OFF day....check with your Dr about your meds....you might need an adjustment....Big Hugs Southern Post edited by: southern10, at: 05/19/2008 16:29 Doing what you love is freedom....loving what you do is happiness. Dont apologize for being patriotic,support the troops-----Toby Keith |
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zinnia
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thanks to all of you. what friends i have on this site. i made the call. the client was drunk so i believe that helped him be a bit more understanding than he might be tomorrow about my mistake. he yelled a little but i did survive. i'm just really worried that the meds are making me, well, not very smart. i can't seem to get thoughts to go as quickly or as pointedly as i used to. i can't read and write like i used to or as fast as i used to. you're right, red. i don't want to be manic again. i just don't want to be stupid either. sometimes, i'm afraid i won't always be able to do this job, because the stress seems to get greater every day, and i seem to get dumber every day. might this go away? is there a chance i can grow some brain cells back?? i'm afraid to call the pdoc because then the whole med adjustment thing starts and you have some other horrible problems. maybe it's just today and i just am not on my game. all i keep thinking is "worthless". i told someone on the phone what i did and jokingly said "i'm going home to smoke a pack of cigs and blow my brains out". this person cares about me and it was not funny to them. i guess it's not my day. thanks for caring guys. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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norma
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Zinnia...I know you are smart. So I am going to tell you something that will appeal to your intellect. If the meds need to be adjusted they do for a good reason. You do not need to be afraid...look how much better you are doing. Your fear is understandable but, grounded in fear of the unknown. The adjustments if necessary would be for your good...a slight tweak might be necessary...Just describe what you are going through to your doctor. And it wouldn't hurt to learn to put some things into place for memory reminders. Also, if it were my secretary I would make sure he/she was trained to not let me miss a court date again. Not blaming on the secretary but, making sure one of the secretary's jobs is to make a calendar of important dates, times and events. And to go over them with you each morning or evening whenever. Am I telling how to run your business??? I am sorry, I am a pushy woman...but you knew that!!!! LOL "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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