Need help from people with BP

Is there anything I can do to help him realize that he is ill. He also lives 5 hours away and only comes up 2 days a month. Thats how bad it is.

If someone could have done something different for you what would it have been. Was there a time where you wish they had had you put into an er for obervation? Hind site can be a wonderful thing for another person to learn from.

Thanks, getting very worried as when he was depressed before it was bad, now he will have to deal with the guilt of all the damage that has been caused.

Of course, we are here for you too. Hindsight is just that...we can always look back and think "i wish I would have done something differently".

It seems odd that his friends and his doctor do not see what you see. Of course, you know him well.

How are you doing with your illness?? Are you taking care of yourself?

Thats why I was wondering if there was something I could do. I now regret not freezing the credit cards, and I also wish I had had him taken in for observation. He cant hate me anymore then he already does. Its those type of things I am looking for. What kind of help would someone want but couldnt ask for.

You had asked for help in maybe having hindsight and I am thinking one of the things might be to keep money separate. And check your credit rating if there are any new cards opened up jointly. if they are and you haven't approved them...call the credit card company and close them. And you have the right to contact the credit bureau and the credit card companies and close any accounts. If he wants a credit card he can open one up himself. Any debt unfortunately, he occurrs while you are married may be under your name also...contact an attorney for advise on this situation. It wouldn't hurt anything, and the attorney may have some good advice.

If you think he needs to go to the emergency room they will ask two questions...is he a danger to himself? Is he a danger to others? that seems to be the criteria unless you can convince his doctor he needs to go for help. And since you said the doctor and his friends don't see his problems you are stuck.

Not much you can do but, just wait and see....

Post edited by: norma, at: 05/17/2008 21:45

Oh his dr did DX BP after the Zoloft sent him to mania. He refuses to believe him. His friend told him that it was me and that he wasnt BP. The dr. tried everyhting he could to get my husband back into the office. That is why I suggested to my husband to get a 2nd opinion. I thought if he was uncomfortable with this dr. DX maybe having a 2nd opinion would help him see that he was sick. I mean how many DR do you have to go through that say the same thing. Who knows maybe it will work one day. Just tired. I want all this to end.

I'm sure he is overly aware of what he has done, the pain his actions have caused, but it sounds like he's in denial. I know it hurts to be apart from him, but it may be the best thing for you right now. If he doesn't want to seek help, he will only continue to hurt you more if he's around.

I agree with norma about keeping your accounts separate from now on, so that this won't happen again.

As much as it hurts, you may have to let him go. I don't mean give up on him, or stop loving him. (and I'm sure you know this) But it only causes more pain to enmesh yourself in the problems of a loved one that will not help themselves. I think you need to start taking better care of yourself, regardless of what your husband is doing. You deserve to be happy.