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A dear friend of mine sent me this story at a bleak time in my life. She knows my trials and she knows me. I can't imagine a better time to share it with my fellow MDJunction members. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. THE POSITIVE COMMENT JUNKIES I was cruising the information superhighway. My new Dell was doing a sweet buck 20, When I got off exit 0101 instead of 01011. I quickly found myself in a seedy part of my cyberspace forum; The part occupied by the pretentious support group gang. I immediately braced myself for trouble. One rough looking individual approached me asking, "Yo man, you lost?" Amazed at his helpfulness, I replied, "I seem to be a little misplaced. Could you help me out?" "Ya, I can help you out. Whatcha gonna do for me?" He asked. "Whatever I can", I said. "Great, I've got some new posts and I want your thoughts on them. But you gotta agree with me, or I’ll leave you here lost…" He held his breath in anticipation of my reply. "Alright then,” I said. “Let's have a look." I skimmed over what he had written. His stuff was total bullshit. If I hadn't needed directions out of there, I would have told him so. Instead, I commented with caution; "This is a great write. Full of emotion. Keep posting." I could tell by the glint in his eye, that this positive comment junkie had just received his fix. I asked my "new friend" with the inflated ego, "So, can you give me directions out of here?" "Yeah, yeah." He said with a far away look in his eyes. "Just go down two blocks and take a left." At the first block, I pass a saucy little number leaning against a wall. She gives me the once over before asking, "Hey sugar. Care to give me some agreeable comments?" "Ah no. Maybe later, after I see what you have to offer." "Trust me baby. I got the good stuff. If you agree with me in my post, I’ll agree with you in yours…" "That's enough you whore! I'm not here to support your ego." A little rough, I know. But you can't let a comment whore catch you with your pants down. She'll suck all day for a two bit comment, as long as it’s what she wants to hear!!! When I reach the corner, I spot a disheveled man sitting in an alley. He calls out to me, “Scuse me miss... Might you have a comment or two for me?? Please make them passive-aggressive! I can’t handle the full truth…. I’m too fragile." Ah, the need strikes the young and the old. "Let's see what you have." I say It takes but a moment to briefly scan the work. Full of errors, hypocrisy and misused words. If he wasn't so decrepit, I'd tell him so. "Wow man. This is really wonderful. It touched me." I said reluctantly. "Really???” He gushed like a new bride. “Thank you miss, thank you…. You are a good person. God Bless you miss!!!!" So I bent the truth… Hey – it’s better to lie than to hurt someone’s feelings, right? All I keep thinking is “Why didn’t I stay in the MySpace neighborhood?” At least there, you can say how you really feel without fear of pushing someone over the edge…… As I pass a Quickie Mart, a woman stumbles out. She is juggling 3 bags of groceries and towing a kid. "Hey you!" She calls out to me "Could you spare me a sugar-coated comment?" "I am in a bit of a hurry." I reply "Fuck you then." She retorts. Uh oh, this on’s going through comment withdrawal; never a pretty sight. I quicken my pace. Shouting from behind stops me. A guy frantically waving, approaches me. Oh no. The first guy again. "Hey man. I just finished a new post. Read it!" "You again? I can’t hook you up with a comment; you’re much too sensitive to the side effects…. leave me alone." The look in his eye would draw sympathy from a sadist. I am about to give in to the addict when a pimped-out ride approaches. The license plate says: COMENTZ It was the world's smallest billboard. The comment junkie who is soliciting me rushes over to the rolled down window. Someone in the car says, "Hey man, I hear you're looking for some comments." "Yeah, I just finished a new piece. Check it out." It takes the driver a couple of minutes to pretend to read it. "This is good stuff. I agree with your thoughts 100%. Keep it up." The comment whore collapses. Basking in some unseen afterglow. WOW! A two-comment overdose… I can’t believe my eyes! My head is starting to spin from the needs of the insecure…. Just as I’m about to make my true feelings known, a large intimidating man saunters up to me and coldy asks, “Hey; ain’t you that broad who refused to give my baby’s mama a positive comment a little bit ago?” He glared at me, awaiting my answer. “Um, yeah that’s me,” I said. “I didn’t mean to offend anyone, I just……” The large man cut me off before I could complete my sentence. “You ain’t welcome in this neighborhood bitch…. We don’t need any true opinions from your type; now get the hell outta here before you get hurt!” As I turn on my heels to make a beeline out of there, I realize that I’ve been bullied by positive comment junkies. I’ve never felt more stifled…..
"We Know We Are Out Of Step When"
We cannot walk a straight line.
We've stepped on our brother's foot.
We forget to be thankful.
We feel alone.
We think our dance is the only dance there is.
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