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Babydoll76
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I’ve just been diagnosed with Bipolar II, but I have battled it for the last seven or eight years, at least. Major depression and massive mood swings (along with years of pushing from my brother) prompted me to go to a doctor last Thursday. I think one of the main things that kept convincing me “I was FINE” was the lack of suicidal thoughts (the other was fear and stubbornness). I’ve never thought of suicide, or harming myself. I was raised believe that was the one UNFORGIVABLE sin, and it’s just never entered my mind. I’ve thought of packing my things up and jumping state, running away from my problems and my family and friends, but that’s as suicidal as I’ve ever gotten. I guess my question is, is EVERYONE suicidal… even if you’ve never been before? I just started taking Lexapro, and I seriously can tell I’m not as prone to drop into depression, but I still have anger, agitation, and if I drink anything with caffeine…. WATCH OUT. I’m terrified of taking more meds and things getting worse. Thanks, BD (Babydoll) |
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carmen33
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Hi, BD, I can't speak for anyone other than my self, but I have felt that way, the running off and leaving and the suicidal thoughts, I've read here that there are others, that have never felt that way, my biggest thing is if you think about it, get yourself to the nearest hospital and do not hesitate.. The problem with running away from your problems is that they follow you, the best way to deal with them is to face them, and get help to work your way through them, then they can't bother you any longer. |
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norma
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I agree with Carmen...if thinking about suicide better to get help immediately..... Welcome to the site Babydoll...glad you joined us... I have had suicidal thoughts on occasion...and luckily I got help. It was not a happy time for me... "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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Deep_Hearted_Sigh
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BD, a very good question... I am more like you, in that I was raised to believe that was the ONLY unforgiveable sin. Judas, you know. So I have never thought of death as in taking my life, but I have often wished I would get hit by a bus, or that I would get some disease that gave me my sentence. I also when through periods of anorexia as I didn't view that as killing myself but rather a way of making me pure and if death happened it was accidental. As for the meds...remember they are not a cure. They will help with stabilazation (word?) but you will still have the occasional mood swings. Sometimes even severe, but fewer and farther between. Also be very careful to see how the medication will effect you if they up your dose. Try to stay home and have contact with family members with dosage changes, because some wierd stuff happened when they changed my dose. Hope this makes sense and it helped! |
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southern10
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Hello BABYdoll76,please call 911 if you know that You dont feel good and feeling like you just cant go on,no matter what its better to be safe than sorry...K Please take care of you...Let us know Doing what you love is freedom....loving what you do is happiness. Dont apologize for being patriotic,support the troops-----Toby Keith |
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Lyme2
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Hi! Your ONE life is TOO valuable! Find ways and help yourself to heling! Love yourself, Robert Post edited by: Lyme2, at: 05/14/2008 08:53 |
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zinnia
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hi, bd-i used to pat myself on the back for never having been suicidal. what a joke!! i had wanted to die; to get hit by a bus or get a terminal disease. i had starved myself. i had done everything possible to treat myself poorly. for me, a big part of bp is self loathing. getting the meds adjusted to get those feelings under control has been the battle for me. obviously, if you're thinking of killing yourself or you just want to die, go to the hospital. if you're just wondering what everyone else feels, that's my take on it. we feel like we wish we were like everyone else and when we're not, we hate ourselves. peace and love to you. z. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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Deep_Hearted_Sigh
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Sorry Zinnia and BD, I sometimes miss the point of what I was trying to get at. Always stay in touch with your doctor, and if you are really feeling low...911 can get you help. They also have hotlines...that have helped me a great deal, and I have been able to overcome most of my thoughts of death... I am so sorry I didn't convey that earlier. |
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zinnia
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hey, dhs-i thought you were right on. i thought BD was asking us if we felt suicidal and you told her how you felt. plenty of others told her to call 911 if she needed that kind of help. i kind of thought what you thought-that she wanted to know how we felt about those kinds of thoughts. how about it, bd? btw, dhs-haven't talked to you much but have read a lot of your posts and think you're a great addition to the group! happy to have you. peace. z. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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Gypsy
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Hi babydoll, Welcome. I am glad you are here. I have bipolar, and am on meds, and in therapy. I can't take antidepressants. They make me manic. I can only take mood stablizers. Do you see a pdoc regularly? It is good to take a mood journal, and tell them everything about how you are feeling. If you are feeling unstable, and suicidal, you might want to call them. I went for years with out being suicidal. I was suicidal maybe 3 times in my life. I thought it was a selfish thing to do to the people around you. This illness is aweful. It causes me to think, that it would be better for others if, I leave. I have taken off. I went and got help a year ago, because, I was trying to run away from hom. I would snap get out of the car, and start walking across town. The whole time, I felt like a failure. I self medicated, and was very self destructive. So, that was my way of being suicidal, I guess. Hang out, jump right in. We are here for you. God Bless,Gypsy |
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