Does it move too fast?

If you ask for guidance it will eventually come to you.

Keep your chin up...

I have filed for disability abou a year ago, and am now waiting for a hearing. We have been scraping by for over a year now. I have felt the way you are. I have thought it might be better to work, and help out.

My fiance is now working, now, and we are doing better. But when the bills come in and it gets tight, I get the ass kicking machine out.

I have had to remind myself a few times, that, I need to get stable, and focus on my mental health or I will just make a mess with my job history, like, I did before. My kids suffered due to my inconsistancy in jobs. It was up, and down, constantly. They were in daycare, I was running around trying to get a job, and ended up working just to pay daycare.

So disability for me means, less stress, more time with kids, and eventually being trained in a skill that will actually make a difference. If I don't get stable I can't be available for my kids, or a job.

It wont hurt to file, and have it as a back up. In the meantime you have time to decide whether you are ready to take on a job. It's okay to make a decision, and if it doesn't work out, at least you know what doesn't work. Your health and happiness is more important than money. I know it's hard to be in your situation. it was really hard to scrape by this last year. It sure helped us find out what is really important in life.

Hang in there. We are here for you.

I also love to garden, and love nurseries. I have to check in with my fiance before, I go crazy. This year has taught me alot of dicipline.....LOL

and Jeanne, I told my boss that my office was the company toilet - feel free to S**t and p**s in it as necessary and I'll just light a *&^%! candle and put my head down and try to do my work. I was fired three weeks later. Nice to hear I'm not the only one. Thanks for sharing that one!!!!

as for not feeling like you're being heard or feeling ignored or unloved, i think this is partly what goes with the bp territory. don't worry about talking about it. most of us feel that way at one point or another (i myself at one point or another every day! lol) so we'll understand and reassure. when i was off work for a couple weeks and joined and could be on here all the time, it was like a lifeline. i miss that very much. i think of all of you very often.

peace.

z.