I have a cheating husband

Again, build yourself up. Be independent and strong. Pursue your own goals, dreams, desires, passions. Develop your creative side. Maybe he's not the one. When your strong you will be a magnet for love.

It may be true that he is manic, but it's not an excuse to treat you like dirt and break your heart. You don't have to be cold about it. Try to urge him to get help. If he is in danger, call psych emergency.

I'd get some distance from him though and make myself strong. Take care,

J

Start a New Discussionuch stronger for it.

Let me say, "I'm sorry you are in such a miserable situation." It is terrible to be where you are in your relationship.

Let me ask, you've been married for 23 years (same as I was) and he's never cheated before or has repeatedly?

Has he taken his medication regularly?

There's not enough pertinent information for anyone to give you the kind of advice and support you need.

I do believe if you are married to a bp (by the way I'm the bp) you should keep some assets in your name only and set aside without him being involved in the set up. You may need it for security later on.

Let me know what's up about my questions and perhaps I can give you a more responsible reply.

Hugs!

msbimbo

Carmen

yes this is the first time he has cheated, and he does take his meds everyday. It's so discouraging. he says things like he has to get rid of this other woman, but then he doesn't. He keeps saying how he wants to come back home. But obviously his actions aren't showing that he does. He has a lot of work to do on himself before I will even consider it. By the way this other woman is a bad influence. She drinks alot, and he is a re-covering alcholic. He takes antibuse right now, so he cant drink, but I think it's setting himself up for a downfall. Thank you for all of your help

Being a recovering alcaholic and hanging out with someone who is drinking is a step towards a relapse. He has already relapsed in his bipolar, his relationship, and now in his disease of acaholism. So, I would get out of the way. In would let him hit is own bottom, and make his own decisions, bad or good. Detachement is letting a person learn from their own consequences. In other words let him, jump off the cliff by himself, don't get pulled into the hole with him. Save yourself. Godbless, Gypsy

He is not trash to throw away, but neither are you his 'keeper'. He is a man and knows what it is to have a good wife. The codependent behavior of this 'other' woman is like a drug to him in his current state. Letting him go and not trying to make him or influence him is the best thing you can do. Only he, himself will do what he wants. He will have to decide what it is that he wants.

Protect yourself financially by setting up financial counseling and security. Protect your home by making sure the locks are changed and he does not feel he can just walk back into your life unannounced or without accountability.

I hope things will be better for you. Let me know how you are doing sometime, ok?