Is my husband bipolar?

All of the sudden he’ll get extremely irritable over nothing followed by intense fits of anger. After his episode is done, he’s always apologetic, and I can clearly see he’s experiencing some sort of mental pain. When he’s up, he can’t stop talking, is extremely happy, and has inflated confidence. When he’s down, he’s negative, irritable and explosively angry (and also a little paranoid) and can be verbally abusive. He also has trouble sleeping and alternates tranquilizers with sleep meds like ambian or over the counter and self medicates with pot (every day).

He hasn’t been evaluated by a mental health professional, he visits his regular doctor who seems to be an “order taker.” My husband just tells the doctor what he wants, and he seems to write it.

Despite my numerous attempts to seek a specialist’s option, my husband won’t agree. His behavior is making me so incredibly unhappy; I don’t know how much longer I can take it. Plus we have a beautiful little boy (12 months old), and I don’t know what is better for him – living in a house with an unstable father or having divorced parents. I’m completely willing to help my husband get help, but I’m at a loss for how to persuade him – he’s convinced he knows more than the doctors.

Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your help!

If your husband drinks alcohol or does drugs?? These can sometimes make people act strangely. I would recommend getting some help for his drug problem. But, like any addiction he has to want the help.

Post edited by: norma, at: 05/09/2008 13:44

Post edited by: norma, at: 05/09/2008 22:55

I am dually diagnosed bipolar and with substance abuse. Alcohol and pot allowed me to "help" my moods a lot! Yet it took me several years before bipolar was diagnosed. It is very true that substances must be discontinued first. You may benefit greatly by viviting a local Alanon group (it was founded by despairing wives of substance abusers) It is amazing how many wrong ways family members try to help. Your asking for help is a good clue that you will suceed even if he does not. I believe you can find a group at www.alanon.com . Or go to Alcoholics Anonymous and read "the big book" online and turn to the chapter "to wives". Unless you continue to seek help and not quit you will probably ride the merry go round of pain and misery again and again andagain.

You need to let him know that you love him but must have him make some decisions and that you will support him. But you must be firm. Don't accept promises, just action. You must be firm no matter how heart breaking it is. It may be just the jolt he needs to knock some sensibleness into him. (Jehovah's Witness)

Love you, Jeff