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10/07/2009 12:10 PM

Good Afternoon

lokie
lokie  
Posts: 256
Member

As autumn is approaching our State, I find it a time to reflect. AS I reflect I experience some difficulties in coming to terms with some of my past. Is this common? Spring offers much in the way of feeling alive.

Contrarily the upcoming season is quite depressing for me. Any ideas, or comments?

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10/07/2009 12:28 PM
QuietDesperation
QuietDesperation  
Posts: 333
Member

Hi Lokie, I'm just the opposite I LOVE this time of year, the crisp morning air, the beautiful fall leaves. Try looking around like a child, I mean as if it's all new, you may be surprised at the beauty you find. Don't dwell on the past, thinks you can't change. I know it may sound weird but somehow when everything around is dying it makes me feel more alive. Look forward to those days when you can snuggle under a blanket, with a good book and a warm fire. There's a lot to like about the winter try to grab hold to it.

10/07/2009 12:38 PM
auntie60
auntie60  
Posts: 303
Member

Whether you are Bipolar or not I think this time of year brings a sort of sadness. I don't think it is all Bipolar. Just think. We have Thanksgiving coming up and they will have put up the Christmas things before we even get through Thanksgiving. We are stressed just thinking about food, people, what to do, what will we buy Uncle Harry when he has everything. I too get extremely stressed because unfortunately I don't take anything to take away the stress. My daughter and her family came last Thanksgiving. She insisted on bringing the dressing, gravy, a pumpkin pie and a chocolate one. We had a honey ham from those expensive ham places, a fried turkey, had everything I was going to do done. Well when they got here not only had she cooked anything, she hadn't even been to the store. I had every single thing I was doing for the salads and 1 cake. I had every single ingredient where all I had to do was put it together. I had other guest coming too. t I had found a place in my right breast, I had a migraine from hell and finally just came back here an let Bill do his thing. I have allready had one mastecomy so you can understand the fear. He can handle just about anything. He just couldn't handle the place I had found the day before Thanksgiving. I have had a mastecomy, and between worrying about that I just could not deal with anything or one.

We strive so hard to make things perfect that we lose ourselves in wraping paper, glittering lights and have contest to see who can put the most gaudy things in their front yards.

The true meaning has vanished and i just wonder how many even think of Christmas as Christ's birth, the manger the wise men and the animals. How many families go into debt just so their children have to keep up with the other children.

So in the larger picture it has become what people have made it.

So we can just be sad until this has all gone away.

Cheer up. I will if you will.

Auntie


10/07/2009 05:49 PM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13724
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I do love the Fall but it does stir some unpleasant memories for me too. I enjoy Sept/Oct but come Nov i hate it b/c leaves are all gone and gets real cold.

10/07/2009 06:09 PM
lokie
lokie  
Posts: 256
Member

It seems as the season drags on as we await to all the blossoms of spring. I think if I had a significant other to snuggle with and enjoy maybe I would find a new found pleasure in its display of grandeur.

10/07/2009 06:44 PM
merryatl
merryatl  
Posts: 527
Member

i had a post similiar to this last week. the changing seasons often make me nostalgic. I remember better times, and it makes me depressed. Although i do like the weather change.. at first glace, its ugly. I've gotten over it now, and i can enjoy it Smile

10/09/2009 04:23 AM
sc4070
 
Posts: 1217
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

lokie - in 2005 I left the hospital the day before Thanksgiving being told by the Radiology Doctor - in his opinion it was definately breast cancer and moving. I remember walking to my car alone and uncertain. I look back today 4 years later, bi-lateral mastectomy w/recontstruction - and kick myself for letting that holiday season be lost, as well as, the ones since then.

I am not bipolar, but my husband is and our holidays are always challenging. October seems to start to t-things up and by Thanksgiving it is complete hell. In 2005 hubby was completely manic and unable to be supportive (had actually been on the run, until my diagnosis). In some ways, my cancer became his short term wake up call. You have to find the blessings and meanings where you can.

2009 will hopefully be better - it will be the first year ever we have approached the holidays with him in acceptance and on meds. I think we let our expectations overcome our joy. This year I am finally more concerned about the blessings than whether all the trimmings are right. I have had the perfect picture of the holidays, but underneath it was gloom. So this year, we are striving for the happiness and let the turkey burn, not care if certain lights don't light up and remember why the holidays are suppose to be important.

Post edited by: sc4070, at: 10/09/2009 04:23 AM

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