keepthefaith
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cprentice, It sounds like your husband might have been manic, when he was having the affair. Now he sounds depressed. That's probably the reason he sleeps all day and is calm and mellow, and doesn't seem to care about anything, not that he misses the life he had with other woman. I find it positive that he is remorseful and claims it was a mistake. Trust me, I know where you're coming from. After 20 years of happy, faithful marriage, my wife became manic, paranoid, delusional and psychotic, after stopping her medications. She had a brief, 3 week affair. After 6 hospitalizations, she finally stabilized, and also was VERY remorseful, along with embarrassed, ashamed, and sorry. There are different opinions on this, but I blamed the affair, and her other bad behavior, on her bipolar disorder SYMPTOMS. She has been diagnosed bipolar (manic depressive in the early days) for as long as I have known her, and if she had done any of these things when she was stable, than I couldn't have excused it. But doing these things when she was psychotic was understandable to me. So we have moved on, and our relationship is back to what it had been for the first 20 years. She is also somewhat depressed now, but not too bad. She has gone back to work as a 1st grade teacher, and is doing pretty well. I'm very proud of her. Infidelity is very difficult to over come in a relationship, but it is not always a deal breaker. I think your husband needs some adjustments to his medications to help with the depression. He, and maybe you too, should discuss this with his psychiatrist. Take care, Paul |
