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03/13/2008 11:00 AM

why to they cheat?(page 4)

finallydone

I have cut all contact with her. I am in therapy to halp recover from this relationship.
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03/13/2008 11:12 AM
dragonfly2catch
dragonfly2catch  
Posts: 541
Member

Viva, hun i feel your pain i am in love with a BP man and let me just take you through it from my experience we have terrible ups and downs during his episodes.let me start in nov. he lost his job ,i found out i was pregnant he told me to kill it that he did not want a baby ,i refused to do that 2 weeks later when he flipped out in an episode he choked me and i sent him to jail. I took him back because his tears got me because of course this man never cries.Then i ended up in the hospital 6 weeks pregnant with a blood clot in my leg. during my stay at the hospital he told me how much he loved me and wanted to go to church with me and change (this was before he was diagnosed)during my stay in the hospital he started actin funny and one day i could not reach him he finally answered his phone crying i said what is wrong he said i lied to you the other night. you see the day before i went to the hospital we had what i call make up sex lol we have all done it .and i felt that something was not right and i looked at him and asked him you did not cheat on me did you ? and he said no but i felt it i swear i did but i believed him.so here i was pregnant in the hospital could die at any min. if the clot moved and the man i love so so much cheated on me the day after he choked me and then made love to me to boot.uuuggghhh you wanna talk helpless i dont think i ever felt so hurt in my life and trapped i started doubting my decision to keep the baby i doubted my self worth and my beauty as a woman.And in all my pain i still took him back now i will say he always says i am so sorry and swears it wont happen again i dont know im not GOD but we are seperated right now for other reasons like him gettin meds but we will keep our counseling going to heal this whole mess. so hun your pain is not singled to you ,you have done nothing to deserve it and the way i explain it is just like the BP person that goes out and spends a ton of money without thinkin he ran out and cheated on me not thinkin of the consequences .but listen to me they do know what they have done and he is just not bein honest to you .love yourself BE BLESSED :~ dragonflyWink

03/13/2008 12:20 PM
morningglory/oldglory
glory  
Posts: 3668
VIP Member

norma you don't want to inflict your morals on anyone??????????Well then, by god I will.........CHEATING IS CHEATING IS CHEATING IS CHEATING IS CHEATING IS CHEATING IS CHEATING! WHEW!

I'VE HAD THIS DAMNED BPD FOR LONGER THAN SOME OF YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE. I ALWAYS KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG, AND MY BASIC MORALITY STAYS INTACT THROUGHOUT EVEN MY DARKEST HOURS OF AN EPISODE.THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR IT AND NO EXPLAINING IT AWAY. IT IS PURE SELFISHNESS AND LACK OF COMPASSION FOR ANYONE ELSE. AND THERE YOU HAVE THE TRUTH ACCORDING TO GLORIA!!! (LOL)

GLORIA


03/13/2008 08:28 PM
Gypsy
Gypsy  
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi suzanner,

Welcome. I am bipolar, too. I would get out of that relationship, asap!!He doesn't deserve you. You will feel so much better if you respect yourself.I haven't been cheated on in a long time.

I have never cheated on anyone, I was committed to.

I agree with Gloria. Cheating is my boyfriends and my deal breaker.

I think it's the most direspectful thing you can do.


03/13/2008 08:29 PM
dragonfly2catch
dragonfly2catch  
Posts: 541
Member

gloria you rock... :~ dragonfly

03/13/2008 09:32 PM
morningglory/oldglory
glory  
Posts: 3668
VIP Member

lol Just can't stand a cheater...that's why we have divorce courts.....get rid of one before you pick up another. Some of you gals have your morals so messed up from their lies, you believe anything or are just to scared to confront them......what a shame!!! Hell of a way to live girls!!!

Gloria


03/14/2008 05:37 AM
finallydone

Well, I spoke to my EX yesterday and she ACKNOWLEDGED that INTERNET cheating is STILL cheating. My best friend told me "all the shitty women get all the good people (referring to me)....LOL....I LOVED this woman...while I helpled her through her hospitalization this past summer and while I was crying for her while she was hospitalized...she was e-mailing other men from INSIDE the hospital....unbelievable....

03/14/2008 07:07 AM
aradessacat

I think only someone who lives with bipolar can understand that to say you should not cheat is easier said than done. I love my husband. He has done more for me than any person ever in my life including my family. I tell myself, and truly do believe, that if he was not borderline I would never have cheated. When you have a person who is calling you names and picking on you for little things and occasionally grabbing you and screaming in your face - especially when you did nothing wrong - it makes you think about things that you wouldn't otherwise. Some of the things he has said and done to me are not acceptable, but I accept them because he has a disease and I love him anyways. (He has never hit me by the way.)

I did some things I'm not proud of and I still think about doing things I wouldn't be proud of. However, I do love my husband and I know I have a problem and am working as hard as I can to keep that problem away.


03/14/2008 08:42 AM
Gypsy
Gypsy  
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi aradessacat,

Welcome, I am glad You found us.

Abuse is abuse. But, wandering off, and being dishonest is not right, either. I have bipolar, and when, I was 18 yrs old, I had the opportunity to cheat, but, had the courage to break it off with my partner, before, i got with someone else. If, I am unhappy in a relationship. I need to respect them, and myself, and do the right thing.

Hang in there, We are there for you.


03/14/2008 08:57 AM
aradessacat

Don't get me wrong. I never said it was okay to cheat. It's not. I was moreso saying, to those who have a partner who may do this, just because I have cheated does not mean I don't love my husband or that I don't want him in my life.

There's no 'breaking off' for me and waiting for someone who I would be completely happy with and not want to cheat on. It's an addiction just like alcoholism and drug addiction. I would probably think about cheating on any guy I was with no matter how happy I am. I might not do it, but I would think about it. It's not about getting something from someone else that my man can't give me. My main concern now is plain and simple. Just DON'T DO IT. It's worked for four years so it can be done.

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