Marriage and Bipolar

The keys to marriage as I see them are trust, respect, communication and honesty. People have talked about the "stressful codependency" of a bipolar marriage. I though you had to be co dependent in a marriage. Not one single person can do it all. And I believe as long as you have the base keys and bi polar person who is trying to manage their disorder in the right way. Yes, my marriage is only 3 yrs in but it is strong and happy. I constantly communicate with my husband about my bipolar, including treatment, therapist advice, and emotional changes. My husband knew nothing of bipolar untiil he married me. So he didn't have "a leg up" on anything.

just my feelings...I have had them building up, and had to vent.

So thank you for letting me know it can maybe work.

grateful,

Confused145

Post edited by: confused145, at: 10/06/2007 12:08

I hear what you are saying. It can be depressing. Life with bipolar is not easy. Especially when having children. No meds through pregnancy can really set you back, none if you breastfeed. The disease has ups and downs. My husband has stayed by me for 26 years through some pretty rough stuff. But you are right. For those who stay committed to their marriage and treatment there is a future. Everyone has stuff to manage in their relationships, this is just ours.

Hang in there and love one another.

Finding that mix is where all the trouble comes in, as a rule one person ends up giving more than the other, and generally comes to resent that. Marriage in and of it's self is a struggle. It seems to be that way, whether or not bipolar or anyone of the various and sundry illness are included in the mix.

Carmen

Partnership is what a marriage is suppose to be about, something that I have been trying to beat into my husbands head, not working just yet, and he is running out of time for becoming a member of this family.

So far, I have reclaimed the kitchen, the laundry is all but done, and you would not believe how many loads that I have washed, sorted hung and put away, the proof room (aka storage) has a path into it and by tomorrow afternoon, I should have access to the boxes that are in there, and start sorting and cleaning them out.

It is becoming more and more apparent that I am the only one concerned about getting these things done, he will deny about not caring, but his actions show otherwise. Pain be damned, I have a disorder that is considered a rare disease, called Hidradenitis, what it is, is a condition that causes boil like lesions under the arms, boobs, and between the legs and on the privates and butt. I am in stage three of this, and it is known to be disabling, in stage three you have what is called tracking, where two or more lesions will join up, and cause a tunnel to form between the them. There is a constant pain that goes along with it, and during a flare, it makes it almost impossible to move depending on where the flare is. If you want to check it out, go to www.hsusa.org but be warned, if you look at the pictures, they are pretty graphic, not a nice sight even when you have it. Along with the diabetes, and sleep apnea, which can cause fatigue, you have what my day generally contains.

I don't believe that I am asking too much of him, and am really getting tired of having to be the one in charge.

Carmen

He is miserable and so am I. He is slowly killing my soul and our marriage. You cannot reason with him on anything. He has very few rational moments, most are very very low.

Help me cope, please.

Hugs

Carmen