Bipolar Support Group

So I went to see a new potential tdoc today, and she took my history and asked how things are, etc., etc.

I told her that I'm not experiencing suicidal thoughts, but sometimes have impulsive thoughts like walking across a busy street without worrying if the cars will stop or not...I told her that on the 1 to 4 scale of depression I'm only a 1.5, maybe a 2, and that there's no reason to worry.

But, at the end of the appt., she said that she wanted me to call her and check in with her daily over the next several days until I can get in and see my pdoc on Monday. She wanted me to see if I can get an earlier appt with the pdoc, but I don't want an emergency appt. I didn't want to see the pdoc for another week.

I think that daily check ins are excessive. I told her how hard it is for me to do the whole therapy thing in the first place, and how her asking me to talk to her on a daily basis makes me want to never see her again. In response, she said my history makes her consider the impulsive thoughts as an immediate threat, and that if I don't check in with her she'll have to send someone to check in on me.

Anyway, would you shy away from such a tdoc? I told her how far away from my worst depressions I am...I just wonder whether she's gonna be trigger happy about pushing me into a hospital whenever I'm not imminently suicidal. Thoughts?

I get those too, in my case they scare me because I swear those impulses are waiting for me to have a weak moment where I actually do it. >_<

I think the daily check ins are a bit much, but my pdoc was the same way. Said next time I got one I had to check myself in, so I never mentioned them again.

My tdoc is awesome though, she knows I have them, however she says if I get the urge to actually do something to myself or anyone else to call her or go in. She said everyone has an impulse to do something, its acting on it or attempting to act on it that's the problem. Only time I had to do daily check ins was right before my hospital visit where I was bawling in her office and not wanting to leave because I was afraid of myself.

Anyway, I'm rambling again, sorry bout that. >_<

I have those thoughts too like--what if I drive my car right through the guardrail and down over the over pass--weird things like that--I have a friend that does that too--we work together and we were talking about that yesterday as we were leaving work and we were actually laughing at ourselves for being so dramatic in our thinking. I am almost positive that she is bipolar and has been diagnosed as well but she preferrs the add diagnosis because the meds help her lose weight==I told her that was just wrong.

She's probably being extra careful because she doesn't know you. I mean, what if you actually did act on those impulses? She only has known you for an hour.

Certainly, if she continues this kind of hyper-control I wouldn't like it. But if she thinks you're in a possible crisis and having suicidal ideations, she may be justified--again, because she doesn't know you.

Maybe just call, say, "I'm okay" for a week, and then tell her you're okay? I don't know.

I guess I'd be feeling like she is a good tdoc just because of it. I'd rather have that then someone who doesn't seem concerned at all in this case, because I think her concern is due to the fact that she doesn't know you, just as Marimac said. She will probably back off as she gets to know you better.

I guess you guys are right - she has to err on the side of caution, but my God....I guess I'll give it a couple more trys, and if I can't handle her I'll give up until I graduate and move somewhere where most docs actually take insurance.

My pdoc had a very similiar reaction during my first visit. He was concerned I was a risk to myself and others when I told him I had thought about driving my car into the tollway divider at 80mph earlier in the week. His response was warranted since I wasn't on meds yet and I was potentially suicidal in his opinion.

I did talk him out of hospitalizing me, and said that I wouldn't drive until I was under control and on meds.

Will you get charged for the phone calls? I wish I could talk to my therapist on a daily basis.

Your impulsive thoughts are a bit suicidal, I think it would be nice to have a therapist who was so available. I just wouldn't want to have to pay her.

Hey Tex, that's what I'm scared of...I don't want someone who's gonna push the hospital on me when I start thinking this way, but only when I'm actually suicidal, which is distinctly different, I think.

Katie, good question. I didn't ask her about that. I'm guessing she will be billing me, which is another reason I don't want to do it.

When I work with my pdoc and tdoc, I remind them and myself that I have to manage my own illness in cooperation with them. It's a team effort and I get a vote, just like they do. I have Ups and Downs periodically, and I stress to them both that I don't want to adjust my meds just because a little bump in the road. Life sometimes causes bumps in the road...