How do I tell my kids...?

Thanks for this post. I have been worried about this same thing. I have had a hard time with episodes, and everytime, I have one, I worry that, I will hurt my kids, if, I were to have to go in the hospital. My 10 yr old has bipolar, but the other three don't know anything, accept that mom gets scary, sometimes. I have considered it, because my meds are not quite right yet, and have considered going in to go off the meds, I am on, and beable to try others to try to get stable.

Hopefully, I won't have to. Thanks, again. I would rather be honest, and get help, and not have to put my family through this hell.

I don't know about your experience, but it took 14 years of being misdiagnosed, a lengthy hospital stay, hundreds of hours of therapy, dozens of antidepressants and three years (finally) of fine-tuning bipolar meds to develop ANY kind of coping skills that are worth anything. Today I'm hopeful - yesterday not so much. So I know tomorrow is iffy at best...and I need to get it together now more than ever. I'm not getting any younger, and my kids rely on me...and the older they get the more they realize that I can get VERY out of line sometimes. I don't want them hating me because they didn't know - or because I didn't do everything possible to get better.

I appreciate your situation. I know you've probably heard this before, but going off meds is messy...if it were me I'd have them check me in for that. Best to you.

As far as the kids go - I asked my 14 yr old if she noticed my sadness and grumpiness lately - she agreed so I told her I was going to a hospital that can help me find the right medicine to even out my brain. She was cool about it - teary-eyed, but cool. I explained to the 10 year old (who has ADHD) that mommy was going to the hospital just like he goes to Mandy (his therapist) and his Dr. to talk about his meds. I told him that because I am going to the hospital I can do lots of appointments in a short time and get better faster. He understood that quite well.

They aren't home from school yet, and I'm still anxious. I feel guilty for being sick. But I'm going to smile, cook dinner and catch up on the Tivo with the family. Tomorrow I will take a shower. I think that's as far ahead as I can go right now. Thanks to all so very much for your responses. I'm VERY new to chatting online, so if I don't reply and I should - or if I reply when I should't please bear with me. Good to have you around.

clevergirl, I knew you could do it! I'm very proud of you. And you did a GREAT job explaining it honestly to the kids. You sound good and have a great attitude which gives you a good chance at stability. I see you're offline now, but look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes!

PAul

I have always been very honest with my kids about my illness. You see my mom was bipolar, (she has since passed away) but back in the day we were left completely out of the loop so to speak. All's we knew was mom went in to rages...depressions...violence.. etc. and would then disappear for weeks at a time. We all grew up with a sense of abandonment, and the typical "it must be my fault" syndrome! Of course back then they didn't know a much as they do today but I still wish my father and the doctors had been more honest with us.

Talking to your daughter is a wonderful start. One thing I always stressed with my kids was that although I had and illness, I was doing everything I could to remain stable. If I had episodes or went to the hospital their dad and I would explain, in there age terms, what was going on and that it was the illness and not there fault. Finally, you, with your husbands support, can set the guidelines for the respect you deserve as their mother.

Kids will always look for away to play one parent against the other no matter what the parents health situations are.

It's nice to have you back. You have a lot more courage, than me.

I am on Lithium, and Lamictal, and it works really well for me.

I think, I am going to sit down with my kids, and explain this with them. My 11 yr old has bipolar, so he understands, but, I don't think, I have talked to the other 2.

Hope to see you around.

It's good to be back - a little scary though. Six days in the hospital and you think you'd come back 'fixed' (and I worry that everyone around me expects the same). I have to remember that I'm never going to NOT have BPD and that I'm always going to have to take meds, with periodic breakthrough symptoms. It's frustrating.

How old are you kids? How old was your 11yr old when diagnosed? Did ADHD show first? How many second opinions did you seek?

And no, I don't feel courageous. I actually feel a little like a drama queen. But - my insurance ends 5/31 ('cause I got fired) and inpatient treatment pays at 100% - outpatient at 50%. -And my meds were not working. I made the brilliant decision to convince my primary care dr that dropping my Lithium by 1/2 would be a good idea. Dummy.

Take care!

My Kids are 11,9,7,and 2 1/2. My 11 yr old was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 yrs old. His Bipolar symptoms started coming out really clear this last year.

I got three opinions. 2 for the AdHD, and 1 for the bipolar. Having bipolar myself, I was able to see his symptoms really clearly, and when,I took him to the doctor, he immediately knew what to do. The mood stablizers have helped him so much. He needs an adjustment. He has been unstable for the last few days. It's hard having two bipolars in the same hous sometimes, because we can trigger eachother..lol

My fiance has skizoaffective disorder. We have had to work on our issues, and find ways to support eachother.

The good part of all of this is, that we understand eachother.

I know how it is to hope everything will be fixed after getting treatment. My fiance went through this, too. I think it's part of the process of accepting this illness. When, I first got on meds, I though, I would be episode free. When, I got on meds, I continued to cycle. I would get worried, and call the pdoc. My fiance would get mad at me, and think that every emosion, I had was my bipolar. It was really frustrating. Finally, I have accepted, that, I will have break through symptoms. Bipolar 1, and rapid cycling are hard to treat.

I have been doing pretty good on the Lithium. I am pretty stable in general, but, have had occasional episodes, and low level depression.

I hope everything gets better for you. Easy does it...and Happy Mother's Day!!