Dating a women who is bipolar please help

Technically, I am no longer dating this girl anymore. I am 24 and she is 23. We met in June and right away began to fall in love. i have been in long relationships before consisting of 3 years and one year. So i do know what it takes for a relationship to work and whether it is real or just infatuation.

Anyways, i met this girl back in june and i have never experienced such a wonderful thing in such a short time in all my life. everything was solid for 5 weeks before her first depression cycle and looking back i see that she was rapid cycling. but anwyays, after the first 5 weeks she began her depression and it lasted for a week or so but broke with me saying i deserve better and such. but a day before used her friends as the reason saying they stressed me out. we got back together as we both missed eachother so much and that lasted only a couple weeks before her depression agian and she broke up with me again for really i dont understand. she brought up a bunch of small things that i didnt even knew bothered her that really didnt make sense and dont think they would have been any issue at all if she werent depressed but i dont want to blame it all on BP. This time its been nearly three weeks since i have seen her. we have spoken a few times but nothing real promising. she says she still loves me and things about me but isnt in a relationship because she has too much school work to do. just a week ago i recieved a text saying she wishes i was there at night or wishes she had a sweatshirt of mine to help her sleep but hung up on me the next day when i told her i still love her but knew it wouldnt change how she felt. i know she still loves me but it seems like she just cant handle a relationship that requires work. which is surprising because she told me she wanted me to marry her just a couple days before she got depressed and broke up with me. but now i think she is in her manic state and just seems to be pushing me away. i did make her mad a couple days ago because she never returned my call and so i sent a text saying if this is the way you want things then so much for being friends. i prob shouldnt have done that but it was so hurtful she never returned my call after saying she wants to be friends and stuff. so i dunno. if she is trying to keep close or what but its just so hard. I know i love her and even bought a book when we were together called loving someone with bipolar. she thought it was really sweet and loved it but used it against me when she was depressed saying i should get my answers in the book.

i guess my question is why i do i care for her so much when it is so hard to keep her with me. she gets so scared at the smallest things and runs away everytime she gets depressed. but now she is manic so i dunno. i just wish i could show her that i love her and wont leaver like her other boyfriends have. she has dated some real crappy guys and doesnt seem to know what to do with a guy who is always there. please help, i am confused at why i care so much for her and why things were so great and then bad and then great again and then bad again. i dunno if she wants me back i dunno much of anything. its hard to know becuase she has come back before. how can i show her i love her without pushing her away. she seems to be keeping me very distant. please help. thank you i know this is long.

OK I feel like you are trying to be her Knight in shining armour. You feel as if your love will cure all that is wrong in her world. IT WON'T. You are not committed to this woman by marriage. Sure still try to be her friend but at a distance. I know I have personally said this before " A person can't get help unless they want to." She has in her own way made a decision. A decision to live her life with bipolar controlling it. I believe to stay in this relationship as more than just friends would be toxic to you. I am not referring her because this post is about you. Again I repeat you are not committed by marriage, then I would have a completely point of view. The relationship you described is toxic to you. TOXIC.

It is extremely commendable that you have been so proactive in your love for her. I would say if you are committed in your heart for her, you are now witnessing what you life would be like. Hopefully at some point she would seek treatment. But bi polar disorder doesn't go away. Not to say that the swings would be as high or as low. She may even reach a level point. But it is not curable. It is manageable. And you can't manage her life. She has to chose to do that.

I really hope that didnt come off mean, because that is very not me.

I am greatly in love with my wife, but at times my emotions and patience are stretched about to the breaking point. I also start to go into depression myself at times, due to stresses of her actions and statements.

Best of luck to you! consider these warnings carefully.