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Sunk
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Hello- Well I have been in a relationship with a girl off and on for the last 2 years. It's finally over after numerous breakups. After doing my research, it is very clear that she has BP and maybe OCD. When we first met, she moved very fast toward me and lead me into this fairy tale romance. I fell head over heals in love with her. Things were amazing for the first 6 months. She was always real lovey dovey, always doing and sayong the nicest things anyone ever has to me. I really fell for this. Once we got into our first winter, after Xmas is when the trouble began. All of a sudden her mood would change toward me... her lovey attitude would go stone cold all of a sudden, and i couldn't figure out why. The first episode ended up involving her soliciting an ex boyfriend to start hanging out with. I felt pretty hurt and didn't understand it at all. from that point on, she would keep stone walling me everytime another guy would show her attention. She would be really nice to me for a while, then the fast talking would start, then she would start telling me about some new guy at her work, followed by shutting me out completely and out drinking with other guys. All of this made me really puzzled, uncomfortable, and hurt. When I would confront her about the issue, she would get really mad at me and say it's all in my head, there's no cheating going on, they are just friends ect... But it got to the point where (2 times in a month) I walked in to the bar where she was and she would have a guy rubbing her thigh, or sitting alone in a booth with their arm around her. AND she would be really mean to me about it. I would eventually blow up and leave her, and she would always come back with the same intense love that I would fall for. I finally walked away for good about 6 months ago. About a month ago, I ran into her and a new boyfriend at a bar. After that she started calling me and texting me about how much she still loved me, missed me, and this new guy meant nothing. I bought into it and met her one night for some beers. We had a great time like old times. The next day she was over me and wouldn't have anything to do with me, went back to her boyfriend after she cheated on him with me. I really loved this girl and the heart break has been overwehlming for a long time. I would be more than willing to support her, except she won't admitt the problem... and it's hard to support someone who shuts you out and runs off with other men. She still denies cheating on me till this day, but I don't believe it. |
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norma
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Welcome, Sunk...glad you joined. I am wondering how you feel about this kind of treatment? "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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Sunk
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I feel very hurt, insulted, puzzled, ashamed... and angry. I always felt like i was maybe doing something wrong, like being too nice to her? But it was all a pretty helpless state. She was a big part of my life, and it's hard to let go of all the amazing times... but I can't tolerate the bad. There is no way to not take it so personally even if she can't help it.
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norma
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Good you are in touch with how this makes you feel. You were being nice to someone who hurt you. And have every right to these feelings. Was she professionally diagnosed?? By a doctor?? "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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Sunk
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Maybe long ago. She did admitt to having a rare form of OCD, and the risk of treating it with meds was death. My situation seems to match a lot of other BP stories I have read online recently. Some stories sound like the same girl almost. |
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norma
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So, no recent diagnosis by a medical professional...she may have a rare form of OCD whose treatment would have resulted in death. And she has treated you badly, pushed you away, and goes out with other guys. If reading the stories help you work through this difficult time I am glad. We are here for you to help you deal with this rough spot in your life. How are you otherwise??? Are you seeing other people, and having a social life? Post edited by: norma, at: 04/27/2008 13:34 "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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norma
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By the way you can join in any of the threads that you would like to join in on...if you are interested...that is the nice thing about being in this group. "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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Sunk
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Thanks for your replies. This thing has been driving me crazy for over a year, off and on. I want to date someone else, but first I have to encounter someone datable. Something that seems impossible when you need it. |
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norma
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My son says the same thing...he is 25. I hope this relationship doesn't make you bitter...there are some wonderful people out there. Just don't isolate yourself. Keep your options open... "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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dante77
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I don't want to say I understand your pain, as no one can claim such with any authority, I do, however, sympathize with your situation. I had a three year relationship with a woman who treated me the same way, though I am the one who is diagnosed BP I look back and think she had more wrong with her-what I did was stayed single for a while to get my head straight before finding a new relationship. I felt I owed it to myself and whoever I got with in the future to lose all the baggage I had accumulated with her, as I knew I was definitely jaded by the experience. Don't know if this helps any, but it's just a thought. Hope you don't lose too much sleep over her, not much you can do to change someone who is not willing to get help. |
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