Bipolar Support Group

Just wondering if anyone suffers from visions of seeing themselves doing things. Mine usually revolve around sefl-destruction. I see myself cutting or jumping off of a bridge or trying to commit suicide. But I am always saved or I stop what I am doing in these visions. This morning I saw myself jumping off of a bridge only to be saved by a state trooper. Just wondering if this is normal to bp or if there is something more to this. Normally they are not that bad and I can shake them off. But today is terribly rough. I don't think there hallucinations because I know they are not real. I've talked to my pdoc about this and he doesn't seem too terribly concerned. Just wondering if I alone in this or if more people suffer from this.

I don't believe you are alone in this. I seen myself lots of times killing myself, and even how I would look in a casket. I haven't told anyone because I know they are not real. Even though I have plotted a few of them for real. I just want you to know that you are not seeing things that's really being curious I think personally. I am not a doctor this is just my opinion.

Post edited by: kingjames, at: 09/14/2009 11:26 AM

thanks kingjames. sometime i just feel crazier than i am i guess. i see myself dying but never dead. i'sve seen my own funeral and noone was there. it's a scary place to be. i can't control it.

Sounds like OCD to me. I have had visions of people I love getting killed in car accidents, etc. Compulsive thoughts. Maybe you could ask your pdoc if what you are experiencing is OCD and if there is a medication you can take for it.

thanks Ele I needed that as well.

When I am extremely stressed I do have very similar visions of myself, only I don't get saved by anyone. Mine are always caused by a very stressful situation and sometimes extreme depression, but always there's a stressor that precedes it. And, unfortunately, I have acted on it a couple of times, once finding myself in the e.r. and the hospital for 2 days with a heart moniitor on. I've never been diagnosed with OCD but I think I do show some tendencies. I have enough dxs, I don't need another...lol. But I definitely know where you're coming from. On the flip side, when I'm manic I have a tendency to have visions of myself in lofty places like judgeships and as a professor at an ivy league college. Then I'll get stressed and go back to the other visions.

thanks guys. i don't feel so alone in this. im glad im not the only one. i just wish i could make them stop. they seem to be worse when i am in a mixed episode like i am today. my mind says go but my body says stop. it doesnt help that my thoughts are racing. the visions don't help with that at all. i just feel like i am going out of my mind. i am afraid that i might act on them. god i hope not. i am usually good at controlling them but today is a bad day for them.

I have these kinds of visions as well. I have seen myself die. When it is really bad I know all the details. Once I was thinking about suicide, started doing research, checking to see if I had enough money to cover costs, researched caskets, and tomb stones. Be careful you don't let it go to far because I did.

i keep trying to distract myself. i have been playing games on the internet all day and haven't been able to focus on anything around the house. right now i am fighting a couple of visions. they just wont go away. i am frustrated and scared that i wont be able to fight them off much longer.

Have you done something in the past that has helped?

I always turn to music. It usually makes me cry but I think it helps.