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Well, he has always smoked since 11- I think he said. But several years back, he told me that he went a year without smoke and he didn't have seizures but he was always angry he said. I don't know how long he has been like this but its strange to see the change. Last night was the latest. He verbally attacked me once I came in the door he was screaming that he can't trust me. He was calling me a lying bitch hovering over me because I broke my promise to never discuss us to anyone. His cousin [who has been staying with us] saw him going off on me one morning. I told his cousin that the apartment wasn't a stable place for him and he needs to look for something else especially if my husband decides to follow through with his threat to leave me. He asked why and I blurted out how my husband assumed I was whispering to him [his cousin] something while he [his cousin] was talking. I saw him staring at me and I thought he was trying to signal something to me like his cousin was lying in what he was saying or maybe my husband was signaling me to meet him in the room... I don't know but he quickly got his cousin out the room and grabbed me by the throat accusing me of cheating. Now, I got 10 years on his cousin and I could never have romantic feeling for a boy who has been mistaken for my son. I told his cousin this and I asked him to promise me to not say anything. I begged him not to and he told him. Now why would he do that? Knowing that he almost jacked him up for "taking his change" --or so he thought. If I didn't intervene he would have been hurt. Plus, I told him that he grabbed me by the throat. Why would he tell him I told him that? The kid didn't care for my safety because if he was capable of that who knows what he could have done to me. I later found out my suspicions were right - the kid did it to get out of trouble with my husband. I genuinely was looking out for the kid. My husband shows some sort of restraint with me and he wouldn't with him. He is my husband's cousin by street not by blood. I felt betrayed by his cousin and I told my husband the kid has to go. My husband told me if the kid goes he goes. I was tempted to tell him "do you," but instead I asked him why. My husband said he's not telling me. I felt rage and I wanted them both gone, but I knew if I did that my husband wouldn't see the dr. today to find out if he really does have bipolar.... because up to now, I just have my suspicions. Well, 3am this morning, he came to bed apologetic telling me he was sorry that he wants us and no matter what he says he would never really hurt me or leave me. He said a lot more and just hearing the NEVER will leave me it sounded a little scary to be with him and his anger till death do us part. What do you all think?
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