My fiance' may be bipolar

I finally talked my fiance into going to counseling and he did and the counselor gave a referal to a psychiatrist because he said he believed he was bipolar II/cyclothymic which was beyond his expertice. At first we felt relieved that there was an answer to his problems but now he is getting angry. He doesn't want to be on medication and have a "fixed personality". He is mad because he says now he knows that he is really messed up and that doesn't make him feel very good knowing it. He is obsessed with the idea that I am cheating or searching for someone better. Which is absolutely not true! I am going to school full time and work two jobs and volunteer for an agency that deals with people who are mentally disabled. He knows logically that I would never cheat on him and that I am a trustworthy person but any time that our routine changes or something that I have to go to instantly comes up he thinks that I am having an affair. If I wear make-up, or am too dressed up (which could be just wearing a nice pair of jeans) or if he comes home and something is out of place he starts doubting me. His mind races with all of these untrue thoughts to the point that he is convinced and tells me I am a liar and a cheater and he doesn't believe me. We are supposed to be getting married in a year and I just don't know if I can go through with it. I love him to death and he is a wonderful father to my kids (their dad abandoned them) but I have simply told him I will not stop trying to better my life because he has these insecurities. I have never been a dishonest person and I hate feeling guilty for things that I have not even thought of doing. I am not jealous or insecure so I just don't understand. I am so confused!!!

Carmen

I have been through that beginning stage of being diagnosed and afraid, I was really messed up, and afraid to take meds. I eventually got help, and it got better.So, hopefully your fiance will get there, too.

I also wanted to say that, what he says has nothing to do with you. It's his illness. You are a good person and if you know your honest, and doing what's right, than, don't worry about what he says. It's important to take care of you and let him get help.You can support him in the process, but, you can't do it for him.He has to take the action for himself.

I hope this helps. God bless, Gypsy

I think bipolarmomma has it right. Do you think you can get him here? Do you think you could print some of the more pertinent or relevant discussion which he might be able to relate?

I know that when change comes for me, I now feel unsettled and get irritable,too. Would you be able to sometimes head off the unpredictable with him by telling him when there might be a change and what it might entail?

Now that I'm older I find it more and more important to keep a schedule. I really can't believe my eyes! Did I really write that out loud?! I cannot cope like my 30 year old self could. I could fly or take another route without any problem, now I just want to remember if I turned on the dishwasher without having to go back into the room three times!

I hope the best for you and him, as well as your children.

God Bless!

msbimbo