Thoughts to Ponder...

I can relate. When my meds are off, or, I am just manic, I have that feeling. I also have days where I am still manic, inspite of being on meds.

It's not as intense, but, I feel restless, and want to act out on my compulsions. I am glad you are going to your pdoc. Once my meds got right, I didn't feel that as intensely.

I'm bipolar, and for the most part content, I have all my basic needs met, I have a roof over my head, a car (even if it is falling apart 21 years old is pretty old for a car) I have food in my fridge, while it ain't caviar and steak, it will keep me well fed. I have a job, considered below most people, I work in retail, doesn't pay all that great, but it makes ends meet, and by being careful, I even have extra left over for getting little treats.

Don't know if you are a religious person, but if you own a Bible read the book of Job, he held fast even though everything was taken from him.

Your thoughts are not jumbled, your just looking for answers and directions, the best place to find them is in your heart. What you have is not who you are, it's the gifts you have been given, if you want a show of contentment, look into your daughters eyes.

Charting is a important thing, it helps us to know where and what could be causing problems, it also aids in our remembering things to talk with the doctor about, a lot of us tend to forget the bad days we were having 3 days ago when we walk into the doctors office..