Bi Polar Wife

Like alot of people here, my spouse is bi polar. She was / still is a drug and alcohol user as well. After several rehab, to get her clean, finally was told by the doctor, she is bi polar. She was on meds for about a year, and seems she embrace the idea she was bipolar and was getting better. About 4 months ago, she stop taking her meds becuase she thought she could handle it, and then went into denial. The rollercoaster ride started once again, she started running off again, with our 3 year old daughter. I didn't know where neither were for 2-3 weeks. When she returned, she had a protection order on me. I was kicked out until I got a court date and was able to get back into the house. On return, found lots of liquior bottles inthe house and found out from the neighbors several friends over.

Anyways, we both filed for divorce will we were out ( not the first time ) but both thought we would try to work this out for 30 days, and see where we were at that time. Had to drag her back to the doctor. During that month the she was lying so much and somehow had money all the time. Gone for extended periods. We then got in to another fight, and she ran off once again with the baby. I filed a temp custody order for the child and won. The judge chewed her out pretty good, awarded me the house, and put her on supervised visitation ( 4 hours a week ). Thought this would be a wake up call to her, but still she refuses treatment. Blames me for everything.

Been married for years, divorce is pending as I write, but still find myself hoping she will wise up and get the help she needs to want her family.

But still apart of me is relieved that this maybe over, as it has been a wild ride and has put us in bankrupcy during that time......it's hard right now, as my daughter kepps asking for her mom, and I don't know what to tell her.

Why is it after all the destructive behavior, the police at the door, and all the money wasted on therapy and court fees, I still find myself hoping to will find herself.

The only way I find myself not hating her is by reading sites like this and reminding myself that she is not well.

Right now I'm unsure if I should go thru with the divorce, or wait it out to see what see does.

Any help out there.

I know most people here probably gone thru the same situations as I. Abuse, money, anger etc.

She once lost my truck to the state when pulled over for something and they found drugs on her. Cost me $2500 to recover my truck back.

The thing I never understand, is all the money I ever put out for all the detrutuive behavior, all the times I took her back after running off for weeks at a time. She still says I never had her back. I always had her back, but not when she messed up...I stood beside her, but will not condone the behavior.

Why can't these people see what they have in front of them. I'd say most supporters very much love there spouse, to be able to put up with the drama for a months, let alone for years.

Has there ever been a study and the effects of the kids living with a bi polar parent when treatment is not being followed? I continue to tell myself I doing the right thing with getting custody of my child, but still it is hard when she keeps asking for her mom.

May God bless you and give you strength.

Dee

http://mrslcooper.webs.com

my husband allowed me to write a book about our lives and his bi polar and what it has done to us. Currently he is in prison due to his rages. The book will be out in march. I just want to help, to listen and to also learn.

They told me they disowned me and she is a whore. I ended up hanging up on my dad, as I seen it was not going any further. I feel bad about it all,

I'm I crazy to keep trying?

My first obligation is to my husband who i said vows with. My family doesnt lay down with me at night, nor do they comfort me when im hurting or sad. They just say, we told you so, or you can do better by yourself. Granted probably true but this is the life I choose. I will not walk away during hard times, because with his meds he is my mr wonderful, so this tells me it is his illness, same with your wife.

As long as she is willing to get help, trust your instincts. Try and tell your father to read up on bi polar to get a better understanding. People are really ignorant about it truthfully.

Okay,,, you are not crazy,,,, NOT AT ALL! Your a commited partner. We all need and want that. For some its easier than for others. However, the reward well worth it in the end as long as your wife continues to take her meds and seek counseling. As long as she tries, trust your heart.

I just came back from seeing mine in prison and his meds seem to be working well. He got a copy of my book yesterday, read it last night and was a bit peed off about it, but said that even through it made him made he just didnt feel like using his energy on his rage... That is a good start. He wasnt mad about the content of what he did to me, he was upset about the comments I have made to him in the past that he forgot... (smile)

Look, you are not alone,,, anytime you want to vent seek me out. Times are tough for all of us, but my favorite saying is "If you got it, you can handle it!"

You are right about the not being informed, but then when I try to tell them or point them to the right direction, they tell me she is not their problem. Why should they learn about it.

But yet they profess themselfs to be christian people with high vaules....I don't get it at all.