bipolar spouse

Racheal

You have to try and accept that it takes time and alot of concentration and focus to get through it , along with lots of patience on your part.

It doesn't seem fair , the anguish people with Bipolar and their families suffer. But this whole world suffers and sometimes "learning to deal with it" can be a harsh way of acceptance.

Perhaps you need to take a break from yourself. I've been learning that myself and I give this advice to all people when it comes to this illness. It does seem to work. Take a vacation from your husband if you need to break off alittle to find time out for you.

My girlfriend and I have seperated ourselves from eachother and since I am now getting better (which I am on Lamictal) we have finally decided to really hang out on Saturday. But being seperated has only made me work harder at trying to get better and has helped her feel better as well . My Bipolar really took a toll on her for 2 years, and it made her have a nervous break down.

This illness can bring family and friends down as well, so we all have to be careful and take time out as individuals to take a look at the situation.

How long has he taken Lamictal? Was it the starter pack? That is what I am on. I am asking because Lamictal does take a while to really get into the system. If this isn't the case, just talk to the doctor. If he'll let you, go with him to the doctor and tell the doctor how you think the meds are effecting him since you can see from an outside point of view.

Have a great day!

1. Abuse in any form. Physical,Mental,Emotional and Verbal.

2. Lying, while you might get some sort of reprimand for what you have done, it's going to be a lot worse if you lie to me about it, this works for kids,friends,and spouses alike.

3. Cheating, as in affairs.

As long as one of these things isn't happening, then everything else can be worked through, but it takes two to tango, you both have to work on it, together. I am on Lamictal too, I have entered week 9 I believe now, and am taking 150mg once aday, seeing my therapist once a month and the doctor now once a month, figure at my next doctor's appointment we will probably up the lamictal, start decreasing the final antidepressant that I am on, (down from 4 to 1) and probably take the visits to once every three months, unless I am having problems. Counseling is good for not only him, but you too, and maybe consider marriage counseling for the both of you.

Carmen

My name is J.D. Stottlemire and I have bipolar disorder.

Overall, the development of a mental illness is very had on marriages. The statistics are pretty grim.

You are not subject to the numbers though and get to choose your own path. You've said some good things: he is accepting treatment, you are dedicated to helping him and are actually wanting things to get better (praying.) I'd say this puts you ahead of the average already.

If the love is not gone between you the question becomes, can you live with the unexpected changes in your life. Some people who are very poor are very happy and some people who are rich are miserable. You are not living with the "wealth" of mental health you thought you would be but are you "starving?"

If you need what he cannot offer and he needs what you do not have, then you two will eventaully agree to disagree, but that is not your destiny. It is your choice.

Bless you for loving those who are difficult to love.

I'm not a very good christian myself but I am reminded of the story of the lamb that went astray and the shepard that went looking for it. If you are familiar with the bible, you might look it up.

Peace,

J.D. Stottlemire

I just filed for divorce on Wendesday. Including a restraining order that evivted my husband from our house. He was more mentally abusive and after 4 years of rollor costers rides-I had enough. I love and loved him, but I love me know and I JUST couldn't do it any longer. We have been together for 12 years; married for 4 of them....it was a HARD choice...but a necessary one for me.

I am bipolar and have been in a relationship for 4 years, now.

I have been through hell with my fiance, and he finally got help, and he is now really sick with a chronic illness, which he is getting treatment for, and is very disabling. He can't work right, now, and at the same time, I have been diagnosed bipolar for 5yrs but, off meds until April of this year. We have had a baby , together. He has been violent, and was a gambling addict, but, got help. .I just recently started getting help. I was no angel, either. We have four kids, and I am now disabled, too.

We are on every State, and county resource, we can get, right now.

We are going through alot of stress, right now.

But, the good stuff is, is that we have both found help. I am finally getting stable, and have learned to take care of me and my kids, while going through the hard times. I have screwed up relationships in the past, and this is the first one that both people are doing the work to better themselves. So, Yes it's about love and commitment, but, I think its also about each person having their own candle lit.

I can't depend on my fiance to make me okay and I can't always be there for him. I had to get help for me. I had to beable to find happiness outside of our stressful situaton. The meds aren't perfect. Life isn't perfect. My fiance doesn't get my bipolar, sometimes. I have learned to keep my self in check, and find ways to deal with my moods, so, I don't take it out on my family. I Journal, I am in therapy and I have other supportive friends I can go to when things get overwhelming.I get triggered by my fiance, sometimes,and have lost control on him. I was really nuts at times. I have gone through depressions, and have been suicidal, and blamed it all on him. Now, that , I have gotten help , I don't do this anymore.

It has taken a lot of work to make our relationship, work and raise our children, too.

So, yes there are successful, relationships, if both people are willing. But, one other thing, I have learned is I can't make anyone get help, and they couldn't make me get help, until, I was ready. I am still waking up from my own denial about how I treated people in my life due to this illness. Sometimes the treatment process is slow, and I have to be patient with the results. My finding meds has been a slow process. I am also on Lamictal, and some other meds, too. But, I have had to try a few, before I found the right combo. I am a rapid cycler, too, and I am not always balanced, and luckly my fiance is patient. I think it's great you are so supportive of your husband, and I think its great he is getting help. You are a step ahead of a lot of people.

I hope this all helps, LOL, God bless, Gypsy