helping others cont'd

Since as far back as I can remember I have been the caretaker of my mother and sister. I have since given up on my sister due to her meth addiction and the fact that I am raising her child, she is my "daughter", and she resents me for it. So f&(* her. But my mother followed my husband and I when we moved from TN to TX. She was one of the main reasons why we moved. She is diagnosed bipolar, cluster b personality disorder, somatoform disorder, and addiction. She is addicted to any prescription pills,even some of the ones that is OTC. Anyways, back on the week of July 4th, she pulled the last straw. Previously she would constantly call me in the middle of the night with crazy stuff. She thought she was calling the police, or her parents, or my sister,who is in jail, or my father, who has nothing to do with her. But I would be the one getting woke up at 2 and 3 in the morning. SO on the night of the 3rd she called me at 3:30a.m. to ask me if she had an appt. with the VA Hospital the next day. Of course no. She called back on the 4th asking the same question. I know nothing of her schedule and if she were to have a doctors appt or not. About 2 days later I get a call at 6:30 a.m. from her saying she thought someone had broke in to her apt. SO I proceeded to ask if the doors and windows were locked, if anything was taken. And the answers were both NO. So I told her she probably did it herself and hung up on her not knowing the extent of the damage she had done to anything. About 12 that same day I got a call from the social worker at our local ER saying my mom had lacerations, and bruises all over her body, not to mention the 4 inch wound she had in her head. After much convo between the 3 of us, she agreed to go inpatient at a non VA Hospital. I made her agree that if she were to ever take to many pills I would cut her off from my family. Well that all went great for awhile. Then she started complaining about the counseling she was getting after she was released. Started going to doctors appts by herself. And last night I got another call at 2 a.m. from her thinking I was the cab company. When I told her she was talking to her daughter she responded What daughter? She then called back and asked for her doctor and again I told her she was talking to me and she asked who I was,if I was her doctor's nurse. She is only like this when taking to much meds. The last incident she had taken 29 klonipin and 28 adavan. She has had one doctor recently prescribe her Flexirill and got her pdoc to prescribe her something else, but obiviously they made her loopy and disorientated. And I have to believe that she is not taking them right because why else would she be trying to call her doctor at 2 am. Now I have no choice but to cut her off from us because I just can't take anymore. The only problem is we, my family, is using her car to get to school and work and to cut her off would mean to give her back her car. I can get my daughter to school by riding with someone else, and my hubby can take a bus to work but it would still be hard on us to do the little things, like go to the grocery store.

Also, I don't know how to feel about this. Part of me is mad because she did this, another part is sad because I am losing my "mom",even though she has never been a "mom" to me. i am also angry that she doesn't care enough about her grandkids to stay clean as it were.I am also mad because my children won't get to have a real grandma.

In the other post I tried to write I explained that I have been raising my mom and sister my whole life. NOw with this situation I feel like a failed parent. Like there should have been something different that I could've done. Even though in my heart I know that's not true. People will be who they are and won't change until ready.