|
This is hard for me to say but ill give it my best shot. I am a 27 year old male who has for the last 6 months or so gotten involved with a bipolar female age 22. Things started slowly and then took off at an alarming pace. Such as just talking about whatever to her wanting a baby with me and wanting to get married. The age difference scared me at first but after a while I settled in and felt good. Until I found about the lying and cheating and constant manipulation. The thorn in my side was not her past but the way It came to haunt her in the form of an ex boyfriend who she just couldn’t let go. They dated for 2 years before she developed ocd and depression, shortly after she became pregnant and he told her to get rid of it or he was gone a decision that to this day still haunts her. Not to mention he has no idea about the depth of the relationship she and I share Yet she keeps running back to this person and then after a month or so running back to me with the I love you and want to marry you etc. Within her and her exs relationship she had an adverse reaction to a bipolar medication and almost died to the allergic reaction known as TENS. ( if anyone one know to a superficial person this allergic reaction makes all of your skin fall off such as a 3rd degree burn victim) Now coupled with all of this she developed posttraumatic stress disorder and anxiety. Where do I fit in this puzzle you might ask, well with a broken heart the last few months went fine until today when she went back to see her ex in a nearby city and of course had sex and possibly now wants to get back together with him, but for what to just try and come back to me again and mess up my already bruised emotional state? Now that she I leaving again she of course denies ever loving me and thinks friends would be best but I am not at that level at all. I myself have anxiety and depression along with a tough back injury due to college football. It seems no matter what positive thing I say to her she in the end uses it as something negative to throw back at me. Such as when I say I could potentially date other girls but she is the only one I want period. She takes this as me telling her that she is not good enough. When she talked to me today she says that she never told me she loved me but I can remember countless times. I also know that she hallucinates and hears things quite frequently. Since January she has come off her new bipolar medication. In the end I find her to be very seductive and needy when she wants something to the point of calling over and over etc and just showing up. I wonder if people in this state are truly capable of love or even emotional connection. She realizes she cannot manipulate me which is a reason running through my mind that she is going back to her ex. Bottom line is I am kinda of a wreck and am a very sensitive person much like the exgirlfriend I keep a lot inside around her for fear of her reaction to it . I understand the manic ups and downs and the cycling from a medical standpoint I just cant understand the lies and constant manipulation along with money lust that she has. It seems there in no conscience to speak of with her unless she losses something she wants i love and care for her but i guess i just need to move on. I gave it my all for the short period of time that it was. Thank you for any insight and comfort you can give. |
