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04/18/2008 09:05
crown01
Posts: 48
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 Believe me, I know!!! How about when he tells you, you said something that you did not say? Or he took it completely out of context. I can't tell you how many times we have argued because she said I saif things that I never said.

It's just so frustrating and aggravating to deal with them. I feel for you right now because you just don't know what to do. I am just a few days ahead of you in my emotions and where I am. We will never get it because we are not BP.
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04/18/2008 09:24
k660
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 yes, that has happened alot too! had learned to not argue with him when he started that - nothing accomplished. one reason this hurts so much is we have gotten so far and thru so much not just with his bipolar but with kids etc. i have really tried hard to 'understand' him and work thru all his episodes. he has said how he is amazed at how much i have tried to understand instead of just leaving. guess part of the pain too is the fact that he stopped his meds for no real reason when he knew what would happen.
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04/18/2008 09:29
Hurtingbadly
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 Wow I thought my life was a mess. This was my 1st manic episoed with my husband who is in denial. He lives in another state because of work but never had a problem. He came home every weekend. He finally told me he had been depressed and so we went to the dr. Because he had only told him about the sad times the Dr misDX him as depressed and gave him Zoloft. This was last august. I havent seen my husband since. What I mean by that is I look at him and there is nothing. His eyes are an empty soul. I mean occasionally he will show up to see the kids because I tell him they need him, but when he was not with us he was in hotel rooms with the 27yr old he was messing around with. I too believe she was using him. He works for the movie industry which is where she wants to work. He was buying her everything in site so she thought he had money.( now declaring bankcrupcy). He had told her he was divorcing me and only came home to see the kids which was not true at the time, I cant tell u how hard it is to hear him say that he doesnt love me hasnt in years and want a divorce. He hasn't filed and in the last two weeks it seems as the depression has started, but I think there is another girl involved. He says they r just friends, but unfotunatly I have no trust in him so I dont believe him. Anytime u need to talk to someone I am here for you. Take care and hold on for you! Not for him. That is one thing I have learned from this nightmare. I forgot who I was. I had been wife and mother fo so long, that I forgot what I even liked to do. Hope this helps u feel not alone!! HUGS!!!

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04/18/2008 09:34
crown01
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 No, you can't argue with someone like that. It will only make you think you are insane. Many times I just wanted to lose it. I can't tell you how many times I had been pushed so far that I didn't know what I was going to do. She would take her meds, but she started abusing pain meds, which I believe interfered with her treatment.

I can relate. I was the one that got her diagnosed and help. We had gotten through alot of hurdles in 3 years and the things I put up with and let go just to make things work and now look at where I am.....screwed. Well, no matter what you do it's NEVER enough for them. The more you give, the more they take.

You won't understand it no matter how hard you try. Our brains do not work like theres do. She's keeping the kids from me and that hurts more than her. I think I've finally realized this is what it will always be.
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04/18/2008 09:45
k660
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 I'm so sorry for you and your kids. Between us we have 7 kids but none together. His two youngest have been with him the whole time-their mother never in the picture so I was that for them. Very close to his kids and his siblings. So feel if I do move on -not just losing my best friend and man i love but everyone else.

Hate to hear that others are experiencing this but also good to know. I find myself asking what i could have done or not done to prevent this but know it would happen no matter what i did. Still hurts so much. Hurts to see him go down the wrong path again. Afraid for him.

thank you for sharing with me.
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04/18/2008 09:51
crown01
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 I feel the same way. They're actually her kids, but I have raised them as my own and now she just took them away and there's nothing I can do about it.

Just remember - there's nothing else you could've done.It's sad that there are so many of us out there that are nothing but victims of these selfish people.
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04/18/2008 11:15
crig
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 Wow! Did you read my diary this morning. This happens to me with every single conversation. He cycles so fast that I don't even get a syllable in most of the time. I can only sit back, listen, watch and just try to remember to breath. At least we all have each other.

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04/18/2008 11:34
glory
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 Wow! Being bipolar, I assure you, I for one remember everything I say during an episode. During that time, my inhibitions are lowered, and I may say MORE than usual, but I remember. To me, you

non- bipolar people give this disorder way too much credit. I get the feeling that you think that the bipolar is somehow an innocent victim in the whole thing. Granted, we have a horrible disorder, but we also have choices. Please don't give this disorder any power. The person with BP is an adult and is very much responsible for their actions.

Gloria








"We Know We Are Out Of Step When"

We cannot walk a straight line.
We've stepped on our brother's foot.
We forget to be thankful.
We feel alone.
We think our dance is the only dance there is.


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04/18/2008 12:00
Hurtingbadly
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 Thank you Gloria!! Since this is all new to me I keep saying its the BP because I know the man that he was before this. For 17yrs. But u are right in the fact that there are choices. He knew them before he went to the hotel the first night and when he spent 15,00, a lot on her. Besides losing me, which he hasnt yet even though he wished I would go away and file for divorce, he lost the 2 most important things anyone could have. His children. He hurt them so badly by not coming home when he promised, (incase u dont know my story he lives in another state for work until our house sells) and for treating me the way he did. Having them watch him tear me apart and say horrible things to me when they were home will never leave their minds. My nine yr old got to the point of not wanting to call him because all she ever got was his voicemail. He never called her. Our 16 yr old missed out on his dad helping him through his 1st girlfriend, his Prom making him be the man of the house when there was something I couldnt do and a second dad to his sister. My son is the one who carried my daughter to the house when she fell down the street and broke her arm. He even helped me clean up all the blood and comforted her. He also missed his sons 16th birthday. He was to busy at work to take the day off. Then he asked if we could change the date of his bday party 2 days before cuz he was busy with other plans. Amazing. We even had to cancel my sons huge 16th party we had been planning for 6 months, like a sweet 16 for boys, because he had spent all the money! and last but not least 4 weeks ago my son started his 1st job and he was to busy to show up. It was a friday night. He didnt have work. I think I could go on about what he did to the kids and I wont even start with me. He still does not realize what damage he has caused but I hope one day he can ask the kids for forgivness and tell them how sorry he was for being such a f***ing jerk. Sorry got really angry when I starting writing. But now I know from speaking to many people who are BP, u can control yourself if u really want to. It is very difficult, but it is possible. Thats what family and good friends are for. Just wish it wasnt the loved ones that get pushed away. O.K. I'm done. Think I even went completely of subject. Sorry
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04/18/2008 12:10
TrueBlue
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 Hi Gloria,

You say that you can remember everything that you say during an episode but can you control it? Or...do you ever say something then wish that you hadn't? Then if so, how do you deal with it? Apologize, or wait until someone says something to you? What? Everyone is different in what they say and do, aren't they. I mean one bipolar might have more control over what they say or do right? I am just asking here. I am not bipolar but have people in my life who are and would like to be able to understand them better. I know that their thought patterns are different than non bipolars, right? Please give me some insight to this.

Thank-you!!!

TrueBlue
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