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08/24/2009 05:09 PM

Dating & Bipolar Disorder

BettyBoopQT
Posts: 5
Member

I'm sure that this topic has been addressed in other discussions, but I thought I'd post my own & get answers directly. Smile

I have Bipolar Disorder, but, thankfully, it is under control & I've been healthy.

I recently began dating someone & I do not know when the issue of Bipolar Disorder should come up. I really like him, but don't want him to run for the hills once he hears about the disorder. So, I don't want to wait too long to tell him, but I also don't want to tell him too early. Sideways

Any suggestions? Smile

Thanks for your help!

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08/24/2009 06:11 PM
darkxhuntress
darkxhuntress  
Posts: 78
Member

I'm not much help. When I was dating my ex husband I was diagnosed with depression. I told him about a month after we were dating. I was diagnosed with Bipolar while we were married. Since the divorced I really haven't been on any dates yet and I kinda wonder the same thing when or if I find someone. I think it's important to tell them early on to have the trust there, but yet like you said I wouldn't want them to run for the hills either. I hope someone has an answer.

08/25/2009 03:51 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

I would wait until you have a strong foundation of friendship aka he likes you for who you are. This could take 6 weeks or 6 months. or you could bring up the topic of mental illness and see how he responds. 1 out of 4 people suffer from a mental illness ( NAMI 2009) Maybe you could tell him that and see how he responds. That will give you an idea on how receptive he will be of your diagnosis.

08/25/2009 06:11 AM
Curlupandie
CurlupandiePosts: 280
Member

Hey, Im in a relationship with the best guy ever and he is well aware of my BP. I think that honesty is the key and you have to trust each other. When your ready be truthful and see what happens, this is all you can do. Good luck.

08/25/2009 08:55 AM
stasis
Posts: 23
Member

I'm pretty up front about my Bi-polar,if they going to run,count your self lucky,very rarely does anyone look beyond what they see.

I do have a pattern of relationships with Bipolars,It can get a bit edgy,or down right crazy.

just beware,both being depressed,bad.

Both a little high,life becomes a contact sport.

I'm not currently,even looking for a partner,

The last lady is still too much on my mind.

It was all or nothing,I got nothing,

Don't you just feel uplifted??(I'm sarcastic)

Stasis


08/25/2009 09:24 AM
rmm164
rmm164  
Posts: 2316
VIP Member

I was sitting here trying to think of some wonderful advice to give because it's obvious I've successfully told men in my life, but I just don't have any good advice. Instead I look back and just see me and my bipolar as kind of this arrogant package that I expected them to accept. "This is who and what I am, take it or leave it..." They took it. Most of the time. When they didn't I was heart broken, of course. Actually, it was more with friendships that I'd put too much strain on and they wouldn't be ablt to take it, than with partnerships. I guess the only thing I can say is that it is part of what you are and they do need to take it along with the package that is "you". If they don't, then it's their loss. I think I'd let them know early on before too much is invested on your part, just in case they bolt.

08/25/2009 08:27 PM
UnsureOfMyself
 
Posts: 683
Member

i couldnt agree more. ive recently started seeing this girl, and she is amazing. now, ive been working on getting close with her for a few months now, and the fact i told her the other night, i think, showed some trust and faith in her, and she definitely returned. id say honesty is the best policy, and i think, given the right timing, it can even bring the right person and yourself closer together, a bit of a bonding experience.

08/26/2009 04:22 AM
BettyBoopQT
Posts: 5
Member

Thank you all for your advice. Honestly, I still don't know what I'm going to do. Obviously, I'm going to tell him about my Bipolar Disorder at some point because it is something that is important to know about me. It doesn't define me as a person, but it's a facet of my life.

I've only been dating this guy for a short time, but we're both like each other very much. We're at the point where everything is still perfect, so the other night, he asked me "what's the catch?" I said, "I don't know," but knew Bipolar Disorder qualifies as a catch. lol (We were on the phone when he asked that. I think if we would've been talking in person, I would've told him.)

Thanks again to all of you for listening [reading]. Smile

Have a great day!


08/26/2009 04:25 AM
UnsureOfMyself
 
Posts: 683
Member

you too, take care, and dont worry too much when you tell him, the less nervous you are about it, the more reassured he will be.

Good luck!


08/26/2009 06:15 AM
txbiker63
txbiker63  
Posts: 635
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

My wife and I had been talking on the phone for a month before we met and she told me on our second date. It took alot of trust for her to do it too (one of the many things that I love about her) she wanted me to know up front because we both wanted a life together. When you do tell him make sure he educates himself on the disorder I didn't at first till my wife became depressed it would have eliminated alot of misunderstanding on my part. If the relationship go's even further and your comfortable letting him in, include him in your appointments it helps us when I'm able to go with my wife. He'll have a big learning curve developing coping skills for him and being able to identify triggers learning what is you and what's the disorder. Have him read through the forum so he can get an idea of what you deal with daily also. Just because your Bp dosn't mean you can't have a great relationship. I hope things work out for you.
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