bipolarmomma
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WOW where to start. I am also the woman in the story.. now where our stories are different is that my now husband knew of my families history of bipolar. Family and husband lived in a very small town. I met my husband when I went to get custody of my niece. Our meeting was like your's, fast and furious. We fell in love instantly and within a month or two he was staying with me and my mom while we looked for a place to live. (My mom is bipolar and a pill addict.) I think my mom might've actually prepared my husband for what he would go through with me. One day he woke up, I was at work, and my mother was standing over him. When he asked her what she wanted she said "do you want anything for breakfast?" It was 11 at night. I also had some wisdom teeth removed during our courtship when I wasn't able to take my meds, and so he saw the depressed me. The whole time before we got married, I would constantly ask him are you sure?, do you understand what you are getting into?, do you realize you are marrying a crazy woman? Every answer was yes,yes,yes. He was like you, he loved me so much there was no limit to the things he would do to take care of me. I caution you to make sure that you are not wanting this relationship so you have someone to take care of. Some people have a sort of "god" complex when it comes to bp people. Thinking that their love and support will make it all go away. IT WON'T! It's funny to me that you think her balancing her checkbook daily is cute. That is a sign of obession, possibily OCD. Depending on other actions she takes. Don't try to contact her in person or by phone. Follow her actions. If she writes a letter, write one back. If she calls, then call her back. The actions she is taking are the ones she probably feels will keep her safe. And yes, it is hard to express feelings to a bipolar person. You never know what response you might get. Some pointers.....never blame anything on the disorder, explain that you are trying to understand the disorder yourself so you can be a supporter of her, give her a sweatshirt with your cologne or whatever smell goods you might wear(it will help realize that that particular smell is the smell of peace),don't address the fact that her friends are users(that will show itself in its own time), and always always always reaffirm your support of whatever feelings she has. Try to see if she would allow you , over time, to accompany her to her pysch appt. That would also reaffirm your support for her. This is all I can think of right now but I hope it helps. You can have a functioning relationship with a bipolar person. I myself am in one right now. You sound like what my husband must have gone through in the beginning of our relationship. I think maybe the only difference is that I realize my "triggers" and am able to express that to him. Communication and understanding is the only way to have a happy, functioning relationship with a bipolar person. I wish you the best. You sound very much in love with this woman. BE BLESSED!
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