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08/21/2009 07:17 PM

I don't know why this is bothering me

Ugh89
Ugh89  
Posts: 14
Member

My ex and i broke up in april after a year and 2 months,.

While we were dating, he worked at this summer camp for two months and there was this girl he worked with who at first i didn't like because I knew she had a thing for him....I just knew it...

He said nothing would ever be between them, she's a friend and nothing more...

It's been a few months since we'[ve broken up, and i'm happy we're still friends cause he played a huge role in my life...

He recently told me that this summer at camp, he and the girl from last summer contemplated a relationship....

He asked if it would make things awkward between the three of us (she and I became good friends) and i said of course not, we've broken up, and i'm happy that we are just friends..

But deep down it is cutting me like a knife...

Can anyone shed light on this to make it go away?

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08/21/2009 07:35 PM
bagofcandy
bagofcandyPosts: 1259
Senior Member

Be honest with him if you want to keep him in your life.

If she's a friend, remind her of the cardinal rule of friendship: don't date my ex...

I think it's perfectly natural to feel like you do even if you have moved on and no longer want to be in a relationship with him yourself...


08/21/2009 07:38 PM
Ugh89
Ugh89  
Posts: 14
Member

i feel bad about saying that to her, because they were friends before she and i were...

08/22/2009 05:20 AM
Spitfire
Spitfire  
Posts: 341
Member

Mybe my situation is somewhat different. I had met this gal thru my now Mother-in-Law (recently deceased). "She" is a very sweet woman. She started dating my ex-husband (I have no feelings for him - I filed for our divorce). Soon they moved in together. Talk about a small world! She/my mil kept in touch and would ocassionally discuss me/my present issues, present marriage to her son. etc. I felt NO loyalty to me/dh thru all of this. This friend is a very good match for my ex, she is also very good to my son, and my 2 grandbabies. Ex/I have to, from time-to-time, due to our mutual our son and grandchildren. We still get along (ex/me)and I am cordial to "her", but that is as far as it goes, hello's and goodbyes, maybe answer a ? or 2, but nothing personal.

Perhaps be cordial to your "friend", but don't continue a complete friendship. This will be difficult, maybe impossible, due to this long-term friendship. Remember she is no doubt uncomfortable as well. Would this be a possibility for you? Just MHO (my honest opinion.


08/22/2009 07:09 AM
midnightoker4220
midnightoker4220  
Posts: 29
Member

I know with my ex gf even after we broke up and i had "moved on," it still hurt when i would hear about her happy and out with other guys.

08/22/2009 03:28 PM
Drucilla
Drucilla  
Posts: 380
Member

I think your reaction is perfectly humanly normal - might be time just to ease the pair of them on out and find a couple new friends to take their place. The term "contemplating a relationship" doesn't ring true to me, I suspect what they're contemplating is an easy way to tell you it's on. If it hurts, eliminate it. Drucilla

08/22/2009 03:40 PM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
Posts: 7033
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I have to agree with Drucilla. They're probably already in a relationship, but apparently they do care enough about you to try to spare your feelings as much as possible.

I would also say to ease yourself away from the two of them, at least for at while until you are a little less sensitive to the breakup.


08/23/2009 08:48 AM
Ugh89
Ugh89  
Posts: 14
Member

Thanks for all the advice....You guys are really good at it!!

I've moved far away from them, so it'll be easy to find some new friends...not that I'd totally eliminate them though...Theya re great people...


08/23/2009 04:45 PM
harobed
harobed  
Posts: 1152
Senior Member

It's bothering you because it's a betrayal. If it DIDN'T bother you I'd call you an emotional liar. Let 'em both go... starting over fresh is good advice!

H.

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