The only thing left for me to do

It is with a heavy heart that I am here to tell everyone that I am throwing in the towel. I just cant live this way any longer. I have done everything I can do to. Now I have to think about myself. I have excepted and job with my company 10 hours away and am moving in 2 weeks. I hate to let go of my marrage but my wife is not changing and show no signs of doing so. So as much as it hurt and breaks my heart I have choosen to move on.

In my other posts I have said how I would never walk away. How I would be here for her no matter what. Well I just cant do it anymore. I cant be treated this way any longer. She has moved in and out three times now. She has been seeing her exhusband this last time. From what I have been told she was seeing him before that aswell. This is not what I signed up for. I would have been here for her. I would have done anything I could have to help her. But I cant live with someone I dont trust. All the other thing I was willing to deal with. But I have to be able to trust the one I love with out that trust I can not give her my heart. SO before things get worse and I end up hating her I am going to end it.

She was the love of my life. She was everything I ever wanted. I dont know why GOD would give this illness to someone that has so much to offer the world. When she is ok she is the greatest person you will ever meet. But when the illness has a hold on her she does things that hurts the ones she loves and she cant help it. So right now I still love her but I hate the illness. If I stay any longer I am affiad I will hate her as much as I do the illness.

I hope you all dont think I am a weak person for letting go. I have tried but I have failed. So I have to except that and walk away. But thank you for all your support during the past year. It has meant more then you will ever know to me.

God bless you all............

You haven't failed at anything. You have done everything could.

I have bipolar, and have had a few relationships, where we had tried everything, and we just weren't compatible. God had better plans for us. We all have our path. I think you are making the best decision you could make.

Hang in there, and I am glad we could help you.

By going back to someone when she doesn't love him for her son, she is not being a very good example to her son. That is teaching him how to be dishonest. The other thing is If she wasn't bipolar would you put up with being treated like this? I wouldn't, and I am bipolar. If someone wants to be with someone else they aren't going to be completely invested in the relationship. Unfortunately if she isn't with her ex for the right reasons it isn't going to work out.She is making her own choices, and sometimes we have to respect other people's right to be sick.

This is not love. Love is honest, and if two people really love eachother they are true to themselves, and to eachother.

I think you are doing the right thing. Actions speak louder than words.

I think eventually you will find the right one. God have something better in store for you.

I am so afraid that she is going to give up and try to end her pain. But I dont know what more I can do for her. I have got her the dx. I have made her dr appointments. She talked about ending it all a few weeks ago so I called her dr and he called her in and had her committed. They kept her for 3 days and when she got out she went back to her ex. She said some things last night that really made me worry about her. I guess I will let her dr know and that is all I can do for her at this point. Here is what she had to say to me last night. She said that this illness was going to end up killing her. She said she just doesnt think she is going to be able to handle dealing with it. She tried to make me promise that when the Lord decided it was time for her to leave that I would put her wedding ring in her hand. She said that our wedding ring is her heart and she wants to be barried with. After alot of tears from both of us I did say ok but only if she lived a long full life.

I know in my heart that she loves me. I know it hurts her to go back to her ex. She is convinced that it is the olny thing that will make her son happy. She says that she cant have anymore kids and that she now has to do whatever it takes to make the one she has happy. She says if that means she has to be unhappy and give up what she loves then that is what she is going to do.

So I am done trying to convince her that she is making a bad choice. I have to live my life for me know. I will always love and I dont know if I will ever be able to open up to anyone else. If I do it will be along time down the road. I just hope I am able to love someone else the way I love her. I pray that she hasnt took something from me that I will never be able to give someone else.

God bless all of you for your comments.

Learning from experience helps us to grow. And in the next relationship you will be able to invest yourself hopefully with someone who can love you in return. This gal is still tied to someone else...don't close your heart to someone in the future. Just go into a relationship with eyes open. hugs, Norma