Bipolar Support Group

Anyone else living at home with their parents?

I'm 34 - a single mum to a 12 yr old daughter. I am divorced (separated from my husband 3 yrs ago). So moved town to move back home. got a transfer with work and whalla - 3 yrs later am still at home.

Its hard a lot of the time. and stressful.

My father is a control freak and has explosive moods. My mother and father argue all the time. My father has selective loyality and is currently friends with a guy who really bullied me at work several years ago. My father despite say sorry 3 yrs ago for not sticking up for me now has started being mates with this horrible bully again. we had an agrument about it where my dad said he didnt believe me and said it was my bipolar that got the entire situation wrong. That cut deep and showed his very limited understanding of bipolar as I am never delusional. Its been hurtful.

My mum is over sensitive and gets offended very easily, but to cope with my dad she pretty much goes out several nites a week.

Why do i stay.... well the good points are below.

the good points:

I have my own flat underneath the house, own toilet, kitchen and bedroom for my daughter and me. I have more nice things now that I ever did. Nice flat screen telly, two lap tops, expensive leather recliners etc. this is important to me as my environment is ordered, clean and we live comfortably.

work is 10 mins up the road and my daughters school is close by.

Its cheap - If i moved out and rented I'd pretty much be poor as a single mum. I've been able to pay a brand new car off in 9 mths and taken my daugher to vietnam and cambodia in Feb.

so I'm not doing it tough by any means.

I do very much hate my job - but am going to enroll in my masters next year and have a 3 yr plan to leave my current job. I work 8 - 2pm daily.

This is why I dont leave, but it stresses me too. Just venting, dont want to move or leave home as its a good place while my daughter is going to highshcool. she has 5 yrs of school left and to provide for her I need to have enough money so here is the best option.

thanks for listening.. just feeling issolated alone and missunderstood.

i live at home,i ama student,and i have been having a hard time and dont work so yea i live at home, but so does my 33 yr old brother, who has no excuse

i live at home as well. i'm 25. it's unbearable sometimes. i would give anything to live on my own. my mother is my biggest trigger of all. i can definitely sympathize.

I live at home. I am only 18 though. I have had plans ever since I started high school to go out of town for college and live in a dorm. Well, my senior year of high school rolled around and I was in the hospital three times and homeschooled for half of it. I still got in to my colleges of choice and when it came time to decide where I want to go, I chose a university that's about 20 min away from me.

I really regret it. I wish I would have gone. I was afraid to go because I felt like my entire support system is here. My therapist, my psychiatrist, my family who was there for me when I was in the hospital. My boyfriend played a role in the decision too, but a very minuscule one. I don't like living at home, I crave the independence all of my friends are experiencing by living in dorms.

I would be struggling with money. I was also afraid that I'd have some sort of break down while away from home and not have anyone or anywhere to run to. Those are still fears of mine.

My brother is 24 and lives with grandmom and has never had a job. Everyone in my family looks down on him. I feel bad.

I live with the folks as well. I'm 27. I did the college dorm thing and once I was done with school despite having a job, I could not afford to live on my own. There's pro's and con's of course. I'm now in btw jobs and trying to change my career in a downtrodden economy so I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. And it could be so much worse, I could be living out on the street. I'm hoping to get a decent enough job this year so I can finally live on my own.

thanks for everyones replies I dont feel so alone and think you guys understand what Im talking about

I am 27 years old and live at home as well. You are not alone.

Good Luck!

my mom lives with me she has cancer i take care of her.

I don't think we as a society take much value in living with family anymore. Many cultures do this and it's not necessarily for financial reasons. Although that's a completely valid one. Family is important and it's got to be a positive thing for your daughter to live in such a household. Even if it's a little dysfunctional. Keep your head up and aim for your goal. Knowing there is an ultimate end point will help you relax in the now.

I think Defiantgroundhog makes a great point. I dated a man from Italy for a long time while he was doing medical training here in the US. He had a beautiful apartment 1 block away from his parents' home in Italy, & I couldn't understand why he stayed at his m & d's when in Italy. It concerned me b/c I was so used to the American notion of having your own place. Finally I saw a 60 Min program on the "mammoni" phenomenon & learned this is very common, as families think why would you come home to an empty apt, eat dinner & watch TV alone, when you could be spending time w/your family? I miss my grandparents every day, & it could be very advantageous for your daughter, especially as a teen, to be able to spend so much time w/them. Somehow it can be much easier to hear something from a grandparent vs. a mom.

It sounds like there are a lot of financial advantages, but at the end of the day if it is not healthy or holding you back (what do you do about SOs?), IMO I would not let the finances keep you there--easier said than done w/a teen. I broke up w/a bf 5 years ago--our house was huge & had every amenity, we traveled every month & stayed in luxury hotels. Even people at church said to stay w/him b/c of the "lifestyle", but I felt so controlled by him b/c of the $, & embarassed at such a lavish home--I had virtually no input during construction. At the end of the day, IMO those things don't matter if you aren't happy, & I really don't miss them. I don't "need" a huge kitchen, pool, housekeeper, etc., & can do just fine w/out them.

I hand it to you for being able to live there. I hope you can find ways to "recharge" & get alone time while you are there--you deserve it. It sounds like you have done a lot of hard work to transition out of the marriage & create a new life. Even though it can be less than ideal, IMO you're making the best of the whole thing--congrats!