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hugabaloou
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This may be nothing, or the last straw for me. I've been on here ranting and asking for advice over all that has been going on with me lately. My husband hasn't been taking his medications, and has generally been making my self-esteem dip lower and lower with verbal arguments, and most recently, night before last, a brief physical altercation. I do have bruising now, and although the events were blurred and happened so fast, I have no doubt that they did happen, and they're a bit of a rude awakening. I have tried so hard to make my relationship work, he says everything will be okay and he says he'll try harder, but for the most part I'm not sure if he knows HOW to. Anyhow, he was expected home from work at 10PM last night, and has yet to either come home, call, or even turn on his phone. His mom is even worried, and she left a message, which also was unreturned. My husband has my bank card, and MY car (in my name), my only source of getting away from this mess if I had the nerve. All sorts of things have gone through my mind, I keep thinking the worse has happened but he finds new ways to top whatever I thought was bad. I am sleeping with one eye open, worried, scared, angry right now. He convinced me my ex was wrong about him looking for another women, that my ex is just jealous and wants me back. Besides, he never has time, privacy, or whatnot to look for somebody else. That's his defense, and he has thoroughly convinced me of that. However, I am so scared right now that he has not come home, this isn't his typical behavior. What to do? Is it too early to call the police? |
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okperez1
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hey there, What are you married to my ex-husband??? he used to do the same things to me, turn off that card or youll have nothing left. This may be bi-polar manic but sounds more like cocaine to me. The only thing I can say is if he didnt come home, where is he??? There is no excuse to leave the people you love, worried. Took your car so he could be gone as long as he wants and come home when he wants. ( he also doe not want you to see him the way he is right now, high as a kite) I cant tell you how many times I was ripped off my money , things that ment everything to me like old family pictures, torn up, jewerly pawned, tools pawned,anything of value like the mortgage payment, my ex-husband always had the right answers, I a-kinned him to a very charismatic, con man. Everyone liked him so It must be me. He would say things like Your too suspicious, Your to pushy, Your a control freak, your crazy, He would also say things like your manic, and since we manics doubt ourselves alot.he would get away with it...once again to hurt me. It took me a long time to realize, he was all the things he was calling me!!!!!!!!!I know I have issues, but he has more issues than People Magazine. Any of this sound familiar. I always say I will love him till the day I die, but in love with him.........no......I think I was in love with the idea of helping him, fixing him.......Think about that. I think yours is trouble for you. Dont let his sinking ship drown you!!!! Many hugs and blessings to you!!! Kelley |
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hugabaloou
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I definitely know it's not drugs, he doesn't have the money to support such a habit, and if there's one thing I know he doesn't do, it's drugs. I know him well in that area. It has always shocked me, too. His family is a bunch of alcoholics, his dad is even an ex coke dealer/alcoholic. His aunt (whom we live with) used to be addicted to Meth. But my husband doesn't do drugs. Somewhere in his past, he learned to be smart there. Thank God. I'm feeling like this may be the one thing to break my sanity. I'm about ready for a breakdown, and this may very well be the final straw. Hope I hear something in the next couple hours, or I don't know what I'll do.
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jodie1973
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Call the police, the fact that he is bipolar and off his meds should mean something. I had to call this week when I had my husband leave. He was supposed to go to his parents, never showed up.I finally heard form him, but the police showed up, though, and were going to do something to find him. Get the police involved. I know the life you live, my husband did not do exactly the same things, but I know the drowning feeling you have. He needs help. Bottom line. If you are unable to get him to seek help, and if he refuses help on his own, there is nothing you can do but what you have to. |
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hugabaloou
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Thank you for your insights, I will be calling the police if I'm able to sleep for a few more hours. He told me he was dismissed from his therapy the other day because he had missed two appointments. He never let me know about the latest one that he ended up missing, just told me he had received a phone call saying he was 'being removed' from counseling. He said all of this with a slight smile on his face, like he was happy about it. I am unable to go to his hospital to discuss treatment with his doctors, they don't really listen to me, as he goes to an all-native medical center, and I'm not native. The health care is poor, as well. I will keep you all posted. Things may be coming to a head here very soon. |
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hugabaloou
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Problem solved. A miscommunication, like always... Boy, he scared me this time:/ |
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bipolarmomma
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Hugabaloou, i am worried about you. You are in denial of your boyfriends bipolar just as much as he is. To him it will always be a miscommunication. But it sounds like he goes into a psychotic mania, which might turn out deadly. Open your eyes honey. Go back and really read what you have told us about this man and think about it. My prayers are with you. BE BLESSED!
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OregonDave
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as a guy who has had his own manic moments in relationships....i was blind to what was really occuring...the excuses were whatever was convenient...the amount of energy i projected onto others...i philosophied it all away...lost out on a lot of good friendships...slowly pushed them all away. i am getting better, but that is another story in itself. if i have any advice for you, it would be for your safety first. if that means getting a hotel room under an alias, calling the cops...whatever it takes, do it. ultimately, you decide how you will live with dr jekyl and mr hyde. your remark about his smile worries me...his fuse is lit...how long till it blows? OregonDave |
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bipolarmomma
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great advice oregondave. I just hope our friend hugabaloou listens. No one wants to hear bad news about u, Hugabaloou. And this advice is coming from a man with bipolar. If you decide to not listen to anyone else listen to oregondave. BE BLESSED!
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Gypsy
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Hi, I am wondering what you are doing to take care of you and why are you staying there in that situation and why haven't you taken the steps to get a good life for yourself, inspite of what he is doing? He is obviously out of control.You can't keep him from behaving the way he is. What are you waiting for? What if the abuse gets worse and he keeps taking off? How long are you going to stay in that hell? You seem young. Don't you deserve to have a good life, instead of waiting for this sick person to decide to do something about himself? You were in the Army and seem to be the responsible one. There is such a thing called boundaries and sticking up for yourself,too. It's not all about him. You have a choice. You don't have to wait for him to get his sh** together.It sounds like he isn't serious about doing so, anyway. Do you have any support network? Friends, family? Why do you let him convince you of lies so he can continue keeping you as his buddy waiting for him at home? I am not trying to accuse you of anything I am trying to help you see that you have choices, and rights, and can do better than this. So, there!! There is my two cents on the issue. We don't have to live like that there are better options, unless you are happy living like that!! God bless, Gypsy God Bless,Gypsy |
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