DEPRESSION sucks

I'm not quite sure what has happend to me in such a short time. I used to not get so attached to animals since one of my dogs got hit by a car 10 years ago. Sounds strange but?Now, 10 years later, within the past few months I have been letting myself get close to animals again. Coming home to this kitten looking weak and just thinking its going to die has gotten me so depressed I just want to go to bed. BUT, instead, I think I will get out of the house..Maybe a little more positive. Altho, I need to be at the house to be here for the kitten?I guess I will figure it out?Guess my husband that is not so thrilled about the kitten anyway can help my daughter feed it!

I haven't done anything to my house for days..Well I cleaned the living room and vaccumed so I guess I did. I downloaded tons of songs for my mp3 player this morning so I could jam out & clean & now I don't even want to. People question what do I do..I don't work..What do I do with my time???????Well, I sure in the hell don't sit on the couch all day long?Just because I don't work?I dunno..I'm rambling..

I'm in a mooooood. I hate Bipolar. My kitchen is a freakin mess & I am overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amber

ARGH

Also know what it is about the house...I used to have trouble keeping house neat when my kids were small...put dirty tupperware in oven and forgot about it. Days later mother-in-law comes over and I turn on pre-heat...smell something bad...melted tupperware into free-form pastel art ...

Post edited by: norma, at: 04/10/2008 16:41

I am sorry you had such a rough day. My experience is, that, when, I started getting stable, I started processing my emotions. I would just freak out, before. I couldn't experience anything.

I think your feelings for the litten are appropriate. I would be sad, too. I get depressed, too, and go for a few days, where, I don't feel like doing anything. When, I am depressed, I also tend to be hard on myself. I feel guilty for everything, I have ever done in my whole life...LOL

I am starting to just accept my moods as they are, and do what, I can. When I come back up out of the depression, I tend to do more. Depression does suck. But it does pass. I warn my fiance when, I am in a depression. I get pissy, and sensitive, and will whine about how he is not spending enough time with me. Now, it's a joke for both of us. I complain, and he explains the truth to me. I figure, I am going to be bipolar the rest of my damn life, so, I might as well get used to it. So, I try to just ride the waves...surfs up..LOL We are here for you.