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bipolar and my wife


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09/21/2007 20:20
eddie123
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 I have bipolar and its going to ruin my marraige ,my wife things I'm selfish because I use drink to self medicate and I can't socialize with her like normal couples,Alot of the time I think if I leave her it will be better for her life. somtimes I just wamt to be on my own so I can't hurt anyone any more.help please because I can't explain to her how I feel .I should be the luckiest man alive because of what Ive gotbut I can't enjoy it.
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09/21/2007 20:36
irishdana33
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 Eddie~~

Let her read what you just wrote to us. If you can't explain it verbally, explain it by writing it. How are you selfish? In what way does she say your selfish? Because you can't socialize like other people? thats not being selfish, that the reality of this disease. Your not alone...........

Blessed Be! Dana


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09/21/2007 20:50
eddie123
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 thanks dana ,She does n't understand that I can go to the pub on my own and drink and play music for long periods this relly helps me , but recently we had weddings and I could nt stay I just had to go home early, Ive put on 3 stone in the last 2 years and I really feel ugly and horrible and this does nt help me feel good at weddings or nights out with her. She does nt understand why I can.t do it for her and stick the day out.I find it really hard that my bipolar is hurting and effecting my wifes life. Its hard for me to take that I hurt people just because of who I am or what I have.........

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09/21/2007 21:14
valspa
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 It sounds as though you are in depression. I am having a bout as we speak and I really dont feel like doing anything but sit infront of the computer. Cant be bothered with friends either. I feel self absorbed and selfish, but I know that this will pass. The Doc is varying my meds at the moment, so I am hopefull of a good result. All I know is that at times I can feel extremly good and positive and that this depression will lift... It ALWAYS does
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09/21/2007 21:20
kimmy5893
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 Do you mind if I ask if you are on meds, do you take them as directed and do you do any counseling together with your wife so she can better understand what's going on with you? I have a 21 year old bp son so I understand your pain completely. I know it must feel very lonely sometimes. It is wonderful that you see how lucky you are, but she is lucky also I'm sure...don't underestimate yourself and just try to help her to understand you and help her by helping yourself completely.
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09/21/2007 22:01
eddie123
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 Im on lamictal and councelling but alchol and being in certain pubs seems to be the only thing to take away the pain.............she tells me Im not willing to try for our marraige but she does nt understand how much I am trying to just function and stay alive for her not for me, but this is nt enough shes an amazing woman that deserves better . Ive asked her to try and learn more about bi polar but I cant force her. I know the thing I do are wrong and Its hard to take the lectures afterwards but I try because she needs to get it off her chest.
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09/21/2007 22:39
valspa
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 My husband went through the same with me .HOw he didnt knock my head off, I dont know. I have been clean of alcohol for nearly three months. Its been tough, especially when I am depressed like now. I even dream of having a drink. Trouble is it is only a temp fix and you are worse off. If you cant think of yourself then you HAVE TO CONSIDER your family. Who else is going to take you on in thier right mind eh? Besides do you want to end up on Skid Row. Alcohol affects not only your marriage, but your "friends", your job etc. I know, I have been to hell and back and I dont want to go there anymore. I would just love to wrap my lips aroung a double Wild Turkey and soda, plenty of ice, short glass,,, but

I know that I am "allergoc" to alcohol. i dont just sip, I thtow them down until I get the result that I want...comfortably numb
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09/22/2007 07:13
okperez1
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 Eddie, You know what I did?? I e-mailed anyone I thought mis understood me,or still cared for me, this link, to the bi-polar support group, I put in the subject line, "insight to me

and right before the link ,in the body of the e-mail, I wrote....."replace any one and all of these names for mine, then read my profile" I am not sure if everyone did, but I know a few did, Cause they e-mailed me back , in positive ways and thanked me for letting them "in" its worth a try.........Hugs and blessings Kelley


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09/22/2007 10:17
kimmy5893
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 Could you find an AA meeting in your area. Show her by taking care of yourself!
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09/22/2007 17:53
hugabaloou
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 This isn't addressing the main topic at hand, but I am in a similar situation with my bipolar husband. He can't understand for the life of him why I continue to stay with him. He thinks he'd be better off alone as well, so he could self-destruct on his own, etc. The fact remains is that women like me and your wife stay with our mentally ill spouses because we love them. It's the hardest thing possible to stick with somebody who hurts us inside, but we do it because we are beautiful people who want to help manage your disease. I am prepared to make any sacrifice possible in order to save my husband's life, even if it just involves being there, and not giving up when he wants to.
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