Bipolar Support Group

K, I tend to be easy to anger anyway but...

When we rented this place, it stated in the lease the pool is swim at your own risk & that the landlord will keep up w/the pool. Now, WE pay for all the electric in the pool cabana, the pumps, filters, fridge, etc-which we were not told when we moved in...or ever, we figured it out after receiving $400 electric bills when we dont use AC or leave any lights on (just my mom & I, no kids to forget turning things off) & called the electric company. We also pay for all the chemicals, on top of our $1200 plus utilities, rent. Oh, & the pool is LITERALLY right outside my bedroom. The landlord, has people come over ALL THE TIME to use the pool, at least 1-2 days a week but when they come, they stay ALL DAY, from about 11a to about 5-6p (today it was 5:30), not just a dip for an hour or 2 but all day. I have a dog that isn't dog friendly, & another that barks at everyone he doesn't know, 1/2 the time, they bring their dog KNOWING mine isn't friendly but even when they dont, Bug still barks constantly. He has told me I "dont have to stay inside, feel free to come out". Maybe it's just my problem but I'm not a really social person, I like my close friends & family but that's it, not to mention I HATE kids & they always have a small army of the running, screaming, crying, splashing brats. They feel free to use every side of our house, the pool next to my bedroom, the front where our screen porch & front lawn are as frisbee or baseball field. Needless to say, I have to keep my dogs inside all day on some of the nicest days (& we haven't had many this year) & I have to (or feel as tho I do) stay cooped up as well, we have no privacy when there here, at all. Maybe I'm just a crabby BP person but I feel like if we're paying this fucking much & all the shit for the pool & he cant do anything to help us (i.e. take care of the black mold we told him about months ago), that it is in OUR lease & therefore considered OURS for the duration we're here. I wouldn't even mind so much if it was once in awhile & he gave us more notice than "today"..literally, all our friends live an hour & a half away & we already had a problem w/someone we made plans w/for a pool party, they drove all the way here & 5min before they arrived, 2 cars w/2 dogs & 6 kids pull in & stayed ALL DAY! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Am I out of line? Asking too much? WTF!?!?

Dude. Are you sure you are easily angered? I'd be going bug nuts the FIRST time this happened. It's a shared pool? But you live in a house? There are so many things wrong with this scenario, my hands are starting to shake...how you have not freak out is beyond me.

I'd come up with a list of some acceptable use rules regarding the pool, and if he gives you flack, point out in the lease how he should be paying those bills. Bleh, that's the nice thing to do, I'm not sure I could maintain my cool for that.

Good luck.

Well, wes, therein lies my problem, I am notorious for my lack of tact in any situation which is why I stay locked inside all day. No, no where in the lease does it say it's "shared" & he never, ever said a word about it, we just came home 1 day to like 15ppl & 3 dogs out there...that day I decided to break damn near everything breakable in my house in a rage. The fuse is lit, that's why I wanted to know if I was being irrational, sometimes I am but the fuse isn't long & they're gonna know it if it runs out....! Oh my I'm upset....

I don't think you're being irrational about this at all. You are renting a house, not running a swim club. I think you've been quite patient. I would jot down the days/times this has happened so if your landlord says "oh, it was just once or twice, quick dip in the pool," you are prepared. Alternatively, if you know anyone who likes to skinny dip, that might clear the place out the next time the gang drops by.

One of my best friends has had very good results w/mooning people in these situations. The last time she did it, in a similar circumstance to yours, things got very quiet very quickly.

LMFAO!!!! OMG thanks for that...unfourtunatley, I have the ability to tell someone off but not the balls to moon someone, I needed the laugh tho!

It's not you, it's the jerk of a landlord and his trashy friends.

But I also understand so well the inability to find the middle road between taking anger out on myself and becoming a screaming maniac.

Geez, write the landlord and tell him you're "not well" and are unable to have guests, pets, etc. around your house at this time (you don't have to mention the never-again part). Maybe hint you have a really bad case of the swine flu or Ebola or something.

Some of you here maybe can tell how to write the letter so she can get results?

what a ridiculous scenario! if you have to pay for all the stuff that has to do with the pool, then you should get to make some rules about the pool. it's as simple as that. it's none of your landlords business if you don't like kids or aren't feeling social or your dogs don't like other dogs. you should get to have some days where the pool is just yours, privately. what a dumb ass he is to think he can get away with taking all your money and not having to share in the rule making. tell him so. you sound like you're perfectly capable of starting out rationally and when and if he's not rational, you can go off on him. if it takes mooning the whole damn bunch of his friends and their kids and dogs, i'd go for it.

If I were in that situation, I would probably start out as reasonably as possible so that if it escalates it is crystal clear that you have a) already been WAY more tolerant than most would be, & b) made every effort to solve it amicably. It is hard to say w/out knowing your landlord--I tend to think pursuing the $400 bucks would help put it to a stop--basically he has a free pool for his friends--if he treats his tenants that way, it seems like he wouldn't be as generous w/his friends if he was forking over $400 for it. I'm thinking phone call, sending along the bill (maybe he "overlooked" it), stepping it up by degrees if he doesn't respond. Maybe in the initial call ask if he plans to do more entertaining. Interesting he isn't in attendance when it happens. Perhaps you could frame it around the bill & also the safety of the kids? Even if it as your own risk, I wouldn't feel comfortable w/it. Bottom line is, he can't do this according to the lease & landlord/tenant law is very strongly in favor of the tenant. The way the economy is, I'm sure he wouldn't want to find a new tenant, let alone one who would put up w/this. Re-letting will certainly cost him $. I just can't believe his friends didn't feel they were intruding when your friends were there!?! Do you know anyone who could make a noise complaint the next time his friends are there?

No, that's part of the problem, as I said, all my friends live quite a way away (haha), I dont know anyone here & due to my social awkwardness I dont do well making new ones. I appreciate all the support, I think what I'll do is have my mom say something or write to him first, she's much more rational & tactful than I am, which is why I make her do most of the first talks w/people, if they dont listen, THEN I get results...even at my own expense. Know the movie Day of Destruction? There's a hot-shit woman secretary of energy who says "I'm a very nice person but I'm not someone you want for an enemy"...seems to be my motto. I am glad to know it isn't just me tho, sometimes my friends are like "wow, you need to chill!" but it seems I'm justified on this 1, kinda figured I was but you never know right?!?